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Band 7

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decades. This has made oversea travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

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The cost of
air
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travel
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 has dropped significantly in recent decades, making international
travel
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 more accessible to a larger number of
people
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.
While
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this
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 trend offers numerous benefits, it
also
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 presents certain drawbacks that need to be addressed.
This
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 essay will explore both the advantages and disadvantages of the increased availability of overseas
travel
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. One of the primary advantages of
air
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travel
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 is its speed and convenience. Airplanes are the fastest mode of transportation for long-distance journeys, allowing
people
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 to reach their destinations quickly and efficiently.
Moreover
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, the reduced cost of flying means that many
people
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 can now afford to
travel
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 abroad, making it a more inclusive experience.
For instance
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, individuals seeking new career opportunities often relocate to other countries. My uncle,
for example
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, immigrated to Japan in 2011 in pursuit of a better life, and he has since enjoyed great success.
Additionally
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, overseas
travel
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 provides opportunities for cultural exchange and personal growth, as many
people
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 explore different countries for leisure, education, or work. These experiences contribute to personal development and broaden one’s understanding of the world.
However
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, one of the major disadvantages of
this
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 trend is its negative impact on the environment.
Air
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travel
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 contributes significantly to global carbon emissions, which in turn
accelerate
Correct subject-verb agreement
accelerates
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 climate change.
This
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 has dire consequences for both the planet and its inhabitants. Rising sea levels and increasing global temperatures are just two examples of the environmental damage caused by excessive
air
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travel
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. If left unchecked, the continued growth in
air
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travel
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 could
further
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 degrade ecosystems and harm biodiversity.
Therefore
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,
while
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 flying offers undeniable benefits, it is essential to consider the environmental costs and take steps to mitigate them. In conclusion, the decline in the cost of
air
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travel
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 has made international
travel
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 more accessible, providing numerous personal and professional opportunities.
Nevertheless
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, it
also
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 poses a serious threat to the environment. It is important to strike a balance between enjoying the benefits of
travel
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 and minimizing its negative effects on the planet.

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task achievement
Expand on specific examples to provide even more relevance and depth to your arguments. For instance, include details on how air travel accessibility has specifically influenced different sectors (e.g., business, education, tourism).
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate slightly more on the examples given (like your uncle's relocation) to make them even more illustrative and tied to your points.
task achievement
Consider addressing counterarguments or potential downsides in slightly more depth to provide a nuanced exploration of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-defined structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion. This helps the reader follow your arguments easily.
coherence cohesion
The main points are effectively supported with examples and detailed explanations. This enhances the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
task achievement
Your discussion on the advantages and disadvantages is balanced and well-considered, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the topic.
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