IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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The importance of the production of
food
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, which was always debatable, has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial to cultivate crops to just fulfil the needs of residents, and
the
Correct determiner usage
that
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 international transfer should be limited. In my opinion, a balanced exchange is an ideal for a
country
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 for their resilient future. After analyzing and moving
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind the limited trade business of
food
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 is that
this
Linking Words
 approach helps the
country
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 to store an unlimited amount of
food
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and utilize it in times of chronic diseases, natural disasters and times of lack of
food
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, which makes a
country
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 independent in
such
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 severe conditions, without depending on another nation for
food
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. Another striking benefit behind
this
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 is that different types of crop cultivation make the land more productive by providing gap and requirable nutrients, without focusing, on seed only which is more remarkable by the international communities, moving
further
Linking Words
, it cannot be ignored that some crops
such
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 as cotton production, Mustard production, are cultivated at limited extent, and the own dwellers of the
country
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 remain deprived off from its utilization, as these crops are just seeding at an unrestricted amount to fulfil the need of the international market, which ultimately not permitted to natives to use more.
Conversely
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, proving ahead with the reasons stems from the fact that an import and export business not only assists a
country
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 to increase their profit but
also
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 builds strong relationships with nations internationally and
consequently
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 boosts a
country
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’s economic growth. It is pertinent to mention that trade business gives numerous opportunities for employment as a number of people are employed to make more products and familiarise the international people with the
country
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's local
food
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, and
therefore
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,
this
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 practice diminishes unemployment and reduces poverty. Apart from the reasons mentioned above, many are in favour of a finite exchange of eateries.
To Conclude
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, after analyzing the aforementioned arguments, one can reach the conclusion that
although
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 exchange between countries makes a
country
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, renowned and economically stable,
nevertheless
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, a wise strategy of exchanging goods would be a comprehensive approach

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task achievement
Ensure each main point is clearly developed with specific examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the flow of ideas by using more varied linking phrases and transitional words to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Revise some grammatical inaccuracies and sentence structures to enhance clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and attempts to discuss both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction is effective in stating the topic and your stance, providing a solid foundation for the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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