Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a nagative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #nagative #development

Spending hours of time using

smartphones

is what some

children

do every day and in my ,opinion it is absolutely and negative development which we are faced with nowadays. Talking about the possible reasons behind

this

fact I can consider two main reasons a) the busyness of parents and b) the advertisements around games for kids which can only be played with

smartphones

. It is evident that busy parents try to fill their absence at home, having no energy to spend with their

children

will result in finding a new hobby for them to get busy with. On the other ,hand the impression of advertising media around games and entertainment which is completely dependent on smart devices

such

smartphones

is something

that is

making

this

issue more noticeable. It is by focusing on different kinds of games which are more interactive and requires social and real physical environments,

this

problem would be decreased. As there may be some positive reviews about

this

subject in mentioning the reason I believe

this

habit is not a positive one for a child I can provide two important reasons. First of all

this

routine will result in an antisocial effect on

children

as they get away from learning how to participate in a group of people and keeps their actions flexible and naive. ,

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

show examples

some research that I have studied before shows that

children

who use

smartphones

continuously as their main hobby turns to be less creative in many different aspects

in contrast

with the ones who spend their time playing with people or using physical types of entertainment. On the

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

whole the fact that some

children

use

smartphones

every day for hours is a development that I find negative as I believe it would affect them in the way to be less social and creative.

Submitted by sagarhasanzade on Sat Jul 15 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a nagative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

The Education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. some believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for society and more funding should be made available for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?