scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junck food. some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people .Others think education will not work.Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Nowadays many people eat a fast meal
instead
of healthy food
while
it is a bad habit because they can get sick like cancer but they don'
t
pay attention to their future and they think
this
is an advertisement so they don'
t
make lunch or dinner because they don'
t
have time management and waste their time so they can cook and
then
they will get junk snacks. Many organizations try to find a way to
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
teach everything about health, healthy feed, junk bread and, desires. so they achieved a lot of ways that
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrate
show examples
junk meat is bad for your health. One of the first ways is to educate the public
while
other groups think
this
way isn'
t
correct. The first group thinks if society knows everything about their daily
diet
and they understand the positive point about eating a healthy snack like milk, meat,
vegetable
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetables
show examples
, yoghurt, water etc, they
encourage
Wrong verb form
are encouraged
show examples
to eat a healthy meal
while
there are plenty of factors that a person decides to change their
diet
.
For example
, if the population know the effect of
diet
on their
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
while
they don'
t
have enough many don'
t
have a way to exchange their life
then
they follow their life the same as past.
second-team
Correct your spelling
second
show examples
thinks that education isn'
t
enough motivation to people try to alter their daily
diet
. they believe there are many reasons that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should handle them until the crowd can change their
diet
and eat healthy food.
For example
, if
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
handle the prices of meat, dairy, beans, vegetable etc and try to reduce them until the people's purchasing power
will increase
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
and they can eat them
then
they can receive protein and vitamins etc
as a result
, society has a healthy community. In conclusion, I disagree with them because both of them are important. the community will know anything education about healthy
diet
and they know how they can increase their life span and the government should support the population in prices of products until the crowd can make a good decision about
diet
.
Submitted by zahratoroghiofficial on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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