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Band 6.5

the graph below illustrates the demand for electrical power in england during typical days in winter

the graph below illustrates the demand for electrical power in england during typical days in winter
#demand #power #england #winter
The line graph and pie chart illustrate the necessity of electric power in different weather and for what purpose the
electricity
 is used in England .
Overall
, it is noticeable that
the
Correct article usage
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electricity
 is much needed in the winter season compared to
summer
.
In addition
, it is used mainly for the purpose of heating rooms and water. In regard to the demand for
electricity
, in winter the usage
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started from 33,000 units and in
summer
 the value was from 19,000. Though
,
Remove the comma
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 winter started
it
Correct pronoun usage
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with the good digit, it faced
a fluctuations
Correct the article-noun agreement
fluctuations
a fluctuation
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 than
summer
 and ended up with the same initial range by 24th
as
Change preposition
at
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 33,000. Meanwhile,
on
Change preposition
in
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summer
, the
electricity
 use was quite stable and ended up with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 starting value of 19,000 units. In terms of usage
in
Change preposition
of
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electricity
, half of the
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 was occupied by heating rooms and water.
Whereas
 washing machines, ovens and kettles hold the second place in the most used
electricity
 equipment at an average
english
Change the capitalization
English
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 home, with a rate of approximately 17%. The appliances like
the
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lighting, tv, radio,
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
 cleaners, food mixers and electronic tools have a similar proportion of 15%.
Submitted by sowmya madhavan on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, summer with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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