IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parent's home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Do you agree or disagree with this approach. Give your opinion.

#countries #world #people #parent #home #school #friends #approach
Young
children
 in developed countries have the mentality to live separately from their parent's homes as soon as they have finished school. Many of them decide to live alone
whereas
, some of them choose to live in a dwelling with mates. I strongly disagree with
this
 advancement.
This
 essay will explain the differences
along with
 my perspective in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, privacy is one of the major concerns of young
children
 by leaving their homes at a very young age. They believe that they are mature enough to take decisions. They think that their
parents
 have no right to rule their life.
Moreover
, differences between the
parents
 will push them to live separately.
For example
, Toronto is one of the high-profile cities in Canada, 98 % of youth in Toronto city live alone. Governments of
such
 countries allow
children
 to work part-time after the age of 18.
Therefore
, they get the opportunity to work and handle expenses on their own.
On the other hand
, affection is another reason that
children
 are unable to leave their homes. They get attached to their family, as they lived more than 16 years over there. It is hard to leave your
parents
 and start everything in a new way.
For example
,
according to
 a doctor's theory,
parents
 are the only stable need of a child that will
last
 forever in his whole life.
Thus
, living by self is optional, but moving from a family is a big responsibility for a child to tackle everything alone. I opine that
parents
 present their role very effectively. It is their child's duty to settle down things when they get matured. They sacrifice their whole life to nourish their
children
, leaving them, at
last
,
last
 is not the right choice. To summarise, millions of positive points will not hide the drawbacks of living alone or settling things on their own.
Submitted by harpreet291kaur on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • integral
  • personal development
  • life skills
  • budgeting
  • social development
  • communication skills
  • fostering
  • financial strain
  • overwhelming
  • cultural significance
  • traditional values
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!