Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

To get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
success in our lives, we can not deny how lucky we have been given that were not from our efforts.
However
, it is not all the time we can stay under a tree to wait
fruit
Change preposition
for fruit
show examples
falling
Change the verb form
to fall
show examples
down at our mouths; we need to labour
suffieciently
Correct your spelling
sufficiently
to get our rewards. So I do not agree tally that someone’s achievements come from
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
luck. On the one hand, it is said that almost success
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
from
lucky
Replace the word
luck
show examples
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
without
lucky
Replace the word
luck
show examples
they can not gain their
achievemements
Correct your spelling
achievements
. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, a man has been unlabouring most of his life,
however
, one day he got the
jacpot
Correct your spelling
jackpot
and became a
millionare
Correct your spelling
millionaire
.
Although
he did not
paid
Change the verb form
pay
show examples
much for
ticket
Add an article
the ticket
show examples
price,
morever
Correct your spelling
moreover
, what he received
far
Add a missing verb
was far
show examples
from what he was willing for. So without
lucky
Replace the word
luck
show examples
, we can not
amagine
Correct your spelling
imagine
how hard his life is to feed his family and himself
withou
Correct your spelling
without
working. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
lucky
Replace the word
luck
show examples
only comes to people who endure constantly in working. A farmer can not wait for his
fuitful
Correct your spelling
fruitful
faithful
harvest unless he cultivates his farm’s land and makes a plan carefully for the harvest. Combination with his labour and some
fortunates
Correct your spelling
fortunate
which
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature brings to him
such
as
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
time of
raining
Replace the word
rain
show examples
, he will get
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
income eventually. Talents
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
are kinds assist success for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
For instance
, Lionel Messi, an international football player, is
example
Add an article
an example
show examples
for
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
who wants to become a
professinal
Correct your spelling
professional
player.
While
he has been trained hard constantly,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
his inner talent
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has aided him much
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
his
sucesseful
Correct your spelling
successful
. In conclusion, I do not agree that
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
achievements which someone
gained
Wrong verb form
gains
show examples
are from
fortunates
Correct your spelling
fortunate
.
However
, with the fortuantes, human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
can get our targets easier. Unfortunately, we can not stay
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
laziness to wait lucky come, actions and we are able to reach our goals.
Submitted by johnhiep.daiminh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • diligence
  • consistent effort
  • inherent talent
  • honing skills
  • external factors
  • upbringing
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • right place at the right time
  • contributing factor
  • conjunction
  • success
  • achievements
  • endeavors
  • fortune
  • serendipity
  • determinants
  • efficacy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: