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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #summaries #features #comparisons
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The line chart illustrates
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
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 of the
population
Use synonyms
 living in Asian cities from 1970 to 2020 and
also
Linking Words
 forecasts
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 2030 and 2040. It
explained
Add a missing verb
is explained
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 in
four level
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four-level
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 areas
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as Philippines, Malaysia,
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and Indonesia. the highest level of
population
Use synonyms
 is for Malaysia and the lowest level is for
Thailand
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at the end
Linking Words
. Generally, it is a huge raise in human congestion during the 1970 and 2040. Averagely, from ten
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 up to eighty
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, twelve
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
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 was for
Thailand
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. But it went up slightly to thirty
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1990.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Ten years later, it stayed with no change. It is observed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 from 2020 to 2040 it has a great increase
up
Change preposition
of up
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 to fifty
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the Malaysians
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Malaysians
Replace the word
Malaysian
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population
Use synonyms
 was about thirty
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, in continuing, their
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 became more than sixty
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and it kept
this
Linking Words
 increase for many years later up to eighty
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 in 2000 which consists of
Thailand
Use synonyms
 and Indonesia about thirty
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, thailand, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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