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Band 8

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that there are other external factors that influence us. Discuss both views and give your own oppinion

#people #happiness #factors #influence #oppinion
Opinions are divided on whether happiness should be created as personal responsibility or whether external factors could influence us. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and explain my support for the latter view. With regards to some
people
 have the perception that happiness depends on a
person
's state of mind and heart, and every individual must have the ability to take control of their feelings.
For instance
,
while
 a group of
people
 is in the same situation, each of them has a different attitude.
Furthermore
, there are several ways to help maintain inner peace of mental health
such
 as yoga or self-help books.
Therefore
,
this
 provides another positive way to look at their
life
 and through practices like yoga, it can be achieved. As far as many factors that can change a
person
's mood.
Firstly
, when
people
 meet their fundamental requirements and have the same entertainment and relaxation, they can claim their pleasure.
Secondly
,
people
 with good quality of
life
 have more satisfaction than other ordinary citizens.
Additionally
, health can direct influence on
person
's happy
life
.
This
 is not a surprise that a healthier
person
 enjoys a lucrative lifestyle and has more activities that could be a source of joy for him.
Besides
, healthy relations relevant make
people
 happier.
For example
, love can make a
person
 happier than ever. In conclusion, we as individuals are responsible for our own happiness,
however
, it is undeniable that external influences will partly affect the choices we make in
life
.
Submitted by hangry.ng11 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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