IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is said that utilize of social
media
Use synonyms
 is replacing face-to-face
interaction
Use synonyms
 among many individuals in
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. In my opinion
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
, the the merits of
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 in order to
Use synonyms
interaction
Replace the word
interact
show examples
among
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 outweigh the demerits because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 provide
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 and comfortable method
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
interaction
Use synonyms
 among
people
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, the primary
downsides
Fix the agreement mistake
downside
show examples
 of
interact
Change the verb form
interacting
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
is make
Change the verb form
is making
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 more vulnerable to get mental health issues namely, depression, and anxiety.
This
Linking Words
 is because there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 no face-to-face
interaction
Use synonyms
 among
people
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
show examples
 through social
media
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Facebook, Twitter,and
Snapcaht
Correct your spelling
Snapchat
can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to misunderstanding among
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is due
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 fact that there are no body language and emotions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I would like to argue the benefits of
interact
Change the verb form
interacting
show examples
among
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 via social
media
Use synonyms
 significantly more than
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
. The first advantage of social
media
Use synonyms
 it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 environment for
interaction
Use synonyms
 among many individuals. To
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 do not need to stay in the same place with others in order to communicate, which means
people
Use synonyms
 can avoid
spread
Wrong verb form
spreading
show examples
 diseases.
For example
Linking Words
, when the Covid-19 pandemic started
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments around the world
recommend
Wrong verb form
recommended
show examples
 their
people
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
avoid face-to-face
interaction
Use synonyms
 in order to protect
people
Use synonyms
 from
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
this
Linking Words
 virus. Convenience is another benefit of
employ
Change the verb form
employing
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 to interact
among
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of face-to-face.
This
Linking Words
 is because
people
Use synonyms
 can stay in touch with loved ones from
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 comfort
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 rather than meet other
people
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 café or restaurant.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 can bring downsides including, make
people
Use synonyms
 feel isolated, I still believe the upsides of
interaction
Use synonyms
 via social
media
Use synonyms
 outweigh the downsides because social
media
Use synonyms
 offer
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 and convenient way to
Use synonyms
interaction
Replace the word
interact
show examples
 among
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
What to do next:
Look at other essays: