Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowlegde or experience

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It has been a rising idea to take a gap year after high school graduation beforehand enrolling in university. As I think,
this
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approach has both benefits and drawbacks which will be discussed in
this
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essay. Nowadays, there are plenty of fields in our education system, but students are familiar with a few of them. They could be misguided by other persons in terms of choosing a relevant profession, and they would not achieve their purpose.
For instance
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, a person is good at computer skills but has chosen the medical field, so he can not put his real potential into that particular work.
Thus
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, it is an effective way to work in any field which is relatable to your mind before studying at university. After that, an individual would choose a specific career related to his own deeds rather than the interference of someone else. Travelling is a convenient way to gain knowledge about new things and places
as well as
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get new ideas about a bright future.
Moreover
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, when graduates meet different people and ask about their experiences in various subjects, they come to know which one is better for their growth and personal development.
Although
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education is crucial for a prosperous life, it is better to select a suitable career by testing your abilities in different tasks.
However
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, there would be a study gap for a time period if someone skipped his education for several months or a year, but I think they could acquire knowledge in a particular sector which is beneficial for their studies. In conclusion,
Although
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, there are a few drawbacks to
this
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concept, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because youngsters will study
according to
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their personal job experience which is compatible with their degree
Submitted by caivankihh779 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively but could be improved by balancing the discussion of both approaches more evenly. You might consider elaborating more on the potential disadvantages of taking a gap year, and providing additional examples related to going directly to university.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are organized in a logical manner, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear structure and flows seamlessly to the next idea.
supported main points
Ensure that each main point is supported with more specific examples or reasons. This will enhance the strength of your argument and overall clarity of your essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion effectively set the stage for and wrap up the discussion.
complete response
Your essay clearly addresses the topic and task, showing a good understanding of the question.
logical structure
The essay demonstrates logical progression of ideas overall, making it easier to follow your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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