Some people believe that having sport in schools is a waste of time and resources, whilst other people believe that sport in school is a vital part of education. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some individuals believe that sport should be mandatory in the curriculum because it has a vital impact on
students
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,
while
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others think that it consumes much
time
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and resources.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before drawing a conclusion. First and foremost,
sports
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can bring several benefits to
students
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,
such
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as improved focus and better health. Despite the mobility and flexibility offered by smartphones, addiction to them could lead
students
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to fail in their other subjects because they cannot accomplish the tasks assigned to them. By participating in regular
sports
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activities at
schools
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,
students
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will learn how to stay focused on their goals, and
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will contribute to success in their lives.
In addition
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, participating in many outdoor activities,
such
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as running or swimming, can increase fitness levels.
For instance
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, many
schools
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that have integrated a
sports
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subject into their education system are recorded as having very low absenteeism among their
students
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.
This
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is critical for
students
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; if they cannot attend every scheduled class, they will fall behind, resulting in failure.
On the other hand
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, sport is considered a waste of
time
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and resources since it trains
students
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only from a physical perspective. There are some
schools
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that focus on science and do not include
sport
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sports
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in their curriculum.
This
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is because they may think
students
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would not have enough
time
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to study science. Another reason is that some
sports
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require a lot of equipment, resulting in a larger allocated budget. A good example of
this
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is badminton, which requires not only a court but
also
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rackets, which are not inexpensive.
This
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can burden the school's finances because some of its budget must be allocated to teachers' salaries. In conclusion, there are advantages to integrating regular exercise as a subject at
schools
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, even though the waste of
time
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and resources is considered a drawback. I believe that including regular
sports
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activities as part of the education system could make
students
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more focused on achieving their targets and
improve
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improving
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their body health at the same
time
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses solely on one main idea to strengthen the clarity and logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Integrate more specific examples that relate directly to the argument at hand to enhance your points.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced conclusion that reflects both views before stating your opinion more explicitly.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument before concluding with a personal opinion, demonstrating an understanding of the task's requirements.
coherence and cohesion
Good use of transitions such as 'first and foremost' and 'on the other hand' to guide the reader through the arguments.
task achievement
The argument for the benefits of sports is clearly articulated with relevant points and reasoning.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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