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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Although
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 many
museums
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 have
admission
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 fees, there are some that do not obligate
people
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 to pay any costs to
visit
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 them. My firm conviction,
however
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, is that despite some demerits,
such
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 as inequitable access or fewer visitors, it would be more beneficial if
people
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 had to pay to
visit
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museums
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.
Therefore
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, I believe the advantages,
such
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 as financial viability or better experience for visitors, outweigh the disadvantages. One evident negative point to charging
people
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 for
admission
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 is that it might result in inequitable access for
people
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. More precisely, a considerable segment of the populace would be hindered from visiting
museums
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 if they had to pay for it.
Thus
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,
this
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 would deprive low-income families of visiting
museums
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 and being more familiar with their artistic heritages. Another obvious disadvantage is that with
people
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 paying
admission
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 fees, fewer
people
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 would
visit
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museums
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.
In other words
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, many
people
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 do not want to pay to be in a museum, and not only that, but many
people
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 cannot afford to
visit
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museums
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. The aforementioned disadvantages notwithstanding, there are several major merits to charging
people
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 for
admission
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.
Firstly
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, having paid,
museums
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 can become financially sustainable. In broad terms, due primarily to the intrinsic nature of cultural
artifacts
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artefacts
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, they need to be preserved, and
this
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 preservation needs financial viability.
Moreover
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, the more budget
museums
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 have
,
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apply
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 the more support and the better programs they can offer. To be more precise,
museums
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 would offer many guidance tours or educational programs, and
as a consequence
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, visitors would engage more, and
therefore
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, they would experience a memorable
visit
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. In conclusion, some
museums
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 would rather charge
people
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,
while
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 others do not make
people
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 pay to
visit
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 them.
However
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, I believe negative points,
such
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 as little attendance or inequitable access, pale in significance compared to the plus points.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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