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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree? You should write at least 254 words.

#someone #luck
Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a question of
luck
. To what extent do you agree or not agree?
however
, several individuals believe that their
fulfillments
Fix the agreement mistake
fulfillment
show examples
based
Add a missing verb
is based
show examples
 on their good
luck
, I totally disagree with that notion as the
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 attempts and efforts
the
Add a missing verb
are the
show examples
 major reason for their accomplishments. on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, enormous people
are believe
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 the word of
luck
. since they grew up with parents who
are learned
Change the verb form
have learned
show examples
 them that the future will come by
luck
. so, the
person
 shouldn't give attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 any upcoming plans. because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 your
luck
 will manage it by the way.
I
Correct pronoun usage
It
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 is really
totally
Correct article usage
a totally
show examples
 wrong
notions
Fix the agreement mistake
notion
show examples
 and the
person
 should eliminate that
luck
 draws the
person
 future.
on the other hand
, I totally believe that the
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 efforts itself the main
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the main reason for achieving dreams. because when the
person
 tries to improve
his self
Correct your spelling
himself
show examples
 by learning new skills and
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 hard for many hours. definitely, he will be
reward
Wrong verb form
rewarded
show examples
. after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 he may get a good opportunity which can allow him to achieve his aims.
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 the persons who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
worked and educated extremely are never
equally
Change the word
equal
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
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 the persons who thought that their
luck
 will
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 aims.
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
two friends of mine
one
 of them had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
studied
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 for 18 years to
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
medicine
Replace the word
medical
show examples
 university which he dreamed
with
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of
show examples
 and the other
one
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
relied on his thoughts that his
luck
 will draw him
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
good future. so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decided to study at all.
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
 the first
one
 began a successful doctor
while
 the other
person
 worked as
waiter
Add an article
a waiter
show examples
 in
restaurant
Add an article
the restaurant
a restaurant
show examples
 which is doesn't his
aims
Fix the agreement mistake
aim
show examples
.
to conclude
, I would say that
luck
 is a heresy had been created by lazy people trying affecting on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 negatively to destroy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by aliaelarabi5 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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