The diagram shows the process by which milk and related product are produced
The above maps display the
process
by which milk
and related products are produced. The process
began with cow grazing at supermarkets and shops . The ablow process
discusses the production of cheese, cream and milk
.
Firstly
, first cow grazing takes place after then
it goes to the milking machine twice a day then
it goes to the refrigeration storage process
. Secondly
, a milk
tanker daily delivery to the dairy
, after which the dairy
procedure to creates cheese, cream and butter from milk
. Cheese, cream and butter are being
packed in a package. Unnecessary verb
apply
Thirdly
, it goes to the supermarkets and shops for selling milk
and milk
products. Dairy
makes different-different items. Before going to the shops milk
packaging is done.
In conclusion, the above data discuss the milking process
which takes place from farms to malls. The main thing for every band is the packages which are done before supplying to the shopkeeper. Hence
, this
process
takes place in making dairy
products.Submitted by purvametaliya99 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, milk, dairy with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼