The diagram shows the process by which milk and related product are produced

The diagram shows the process by which milk and related product are produced
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The diagram shows the process by which milk and related product are produced
The above maps display the
process
Use synonyms
by which
milk
Use synonyms
and related products are produced. The
process
Use synonyms
began with cow grazing at supermarkets and shops . The ablow
process
Use synonyms
discusses the production of cheese, cream and
milk
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, first cow grazing takes place after
then
Linking Words
it goes to the milking machine twice a day
then
Linking Words
it goes to the refrigeration storage
process
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a
milk
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tanker daily delivery to the
dairy
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, after which the
dairy
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procedure to creates cheese, cream and butter from
milk
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. Cheese, cream and butter are
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
packed in a package.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, it goes to the supermarkets and shops for selling
milk
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and
milk
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products.
Dairy
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makes different-different items. Before going to the shops
milk
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packaging is done. In conclusion, the above data discuss the milking
process
Use synonyms
which takes place from farms to malls. The main thing for every band is the packages which are done before supplying to the shopkeeper.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
takes place in making
dairy
Use synonyms
products.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, milk, dairy with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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