IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life. What are the causes of this situation, and what can individuals and employers do to reduce the problem? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In
this
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 modern era, the topic of
work
Use synonyms
-life balance has undeniably become a critical issue for the general public.
While
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 there is evidence that many
employees
Use synonyms
 find it is a challenge to balance the demands of their occupation and personal life.
This
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 essay aims to provide a comprehensive analysis of
this
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 major matter. On the one hand, it is essential to recognise some obvious factors that result in
this
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 problem. There is a crucial aspect to consider is the increased workload that many people have to deal with. To illustrate, white-collar job
workers
Use synonyms
 are expected to stay longer and be available outside traditional working hours.
Moreover
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, people are always contactable
due to
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 the rise of communication tools, which facilitate the boss to contact their
employees
Use synonyms
.
In addition
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, with the labour market becoming increasingly competitive,
workers
Use synonyms
 are under pressure ,
as well as
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 the fear of loss of promotion or redundancy.
On the other hand
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, solutions must be exposed to handle
this
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 issue. One of the most efficient solutions is that
workers
Use synonyms
 ought to reach an arrangement with their employers about the
work
Use synonyms
 hours, helping people have a specific time to dedicate to their personal life.
Additionally
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, corporations could have some rewards to encourage
employees
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 more effectively ,
as well as
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have
Verb problem
provide
show examples
 a sense of recognition.
To sum up
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, in light of those considerations, the multitude of
work
Use synonyms
 that
workers
Use synonyms
 have to address and the high-pressure
work
Use synonyms
 atmosphere have resulted in the difficulty of having a
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.
Therefore
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,
employees
Use synonyms
 had better clarify the
work
Use synonyms
 time
as well as
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 the reward from the company.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear start, middle, and end. Use one idea in each paragraph and keep ideas in order.
development
Add more detail to each idea. Give real life facts or clear, simple examples to back up your point.
language
Check your grammar and use linking words to show how ideas fit together.
content
The topic is clear and you talk about causes and fixes.
strength
You give examples like longer hours and being able to be reached.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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