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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it?

#people #countryside #cities #movement
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Nowadays, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are moving from the
countryside
Use synonyms
 to
cities
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, which are becoming overcrowded
Correct word choice
and is
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 becoming more widespread in many parts of the world .
This
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 essay will examine the causes and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
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solutions
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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 be taken to improve the situation. There are a variety of different causes for
this
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 matter.
To begin
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 with, compared to the
countryside
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, the
city
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 is growing more and more. Many
people
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 in the
countryside
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 tend to move to the
city
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 for easy career development. In
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Add an article
the city
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city
Add a comma
,city
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people
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 will have
higher-income
Correct your spelling
higher income
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 than
the
Change preposition
in the
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countryside
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. Ho Chi Minh
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city
Capitalize word
City
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 is home to large and small businesses,
developing
Correct article usage
a developing
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 economy,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 makes Ho Chi Minh
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city
Capitalize word
City
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 the place with
highest
Add an article
the highest
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 percentage of immigrants in Vietnam,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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about 8 out of 10
people
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 living in Ho Chi Minh
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city
Capitalize word
City
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 are
people
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 from many
countryside
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. Another contributing factor to mention is that many students are moving to the large
cities
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 to
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 well-known prestigious universities, they apply to study in main
cities
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 to achieve their desire
higher
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for higher
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 education Despite
of
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apply
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these circumstances, there are various measures.
Firstly
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, a simple solution would be
to
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for
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 the government
created
Change the verb form
to create
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 better job opportunities and
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
 universities
are
Change the verb form
to be
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 constructed in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
countryside
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 would
be tackle
Change the verb form
tackle
show examples
this
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 problem. The second measure would be for governments to encourage investing in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 will eventually offer plentiful jobs.
Finally
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, propaganda to reduce the urban population explosion. In conclusion, the problem of
people
Use synonyms
 moving from the
countryside
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 to the
cities
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 is unlikely to be entirely eliminated in the short term.
However
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, various measures can be taken to tackle the issue to reduce the effects.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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