IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, more and more people are moving from the countryside to cities, which are becoming overcrowded. What are the reasons for this movement to cities and what can be done to reduce it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 are moving from the
countryside
Use synonyms
 to
cities
Use synonyms
, which are becoming overcrowded
Correct word choice
and is
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 becoming more widespread in many parts of the world .
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the causes and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
solutions
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
 be taken to improve the situation. There are a variety of different causes for
this
Linking Words
 matter.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, compared to the
countryside
Use synonyms
, the
city
Use synonyms
 is growing more and more. Many
people
Use synonyms
 in the
countryside
Use synonyms
 tend to move to the
city
Use synonyms
 for easy career development. In
Use synonyms
Add an article
the city
show examples
city
Add a comma
,city
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 will have
higher-income
Correct your spelling
higher income
show examples
 than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
countryside
Use synonyms
. Ho Chi Minh
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 is home to large and small businesses,
developing
Correct article usage
a developing
show examples
 economy,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes Ho Chi Minh
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 the place with
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 percentage of immigrants in Vietnam,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
about 8 out of 10
people
Use synonyms
 living in Ho Chi Minh
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 are
people
Use synonyms
 from many
countryside
Use synonyms
. Another contributing factor to mention is that many students are moving to the large
cities
Use synonyms
 to
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 well-known prestigious universities, they apply to study in main
cities
Use synonyms
 to achieve their desire
higher
Change preposition
for higher
show examples
 education Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these circumstances, there are various measures.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a simple solution would be
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the government
created
Change the verb form
to create
show examples
 better job opportunities and
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
 universities
are
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 constructed in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
countryside
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 would
be tackle
Change the verb form
tackle
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem. The second measure would be for governments to encourage investing in
Use synonyms
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will eventually offer plentiful jobs.
Finally
Linking Words
, propaganda to reduce the urban population explosion. In conclusion, the problem of
people
Use synonyms
 moving from the
countryside
Use synonyms
 to the
cities
Use synonyms
 is unlikely to be entirely eliminated in the short term.
However
Linking Words
, various measures can be taken to tackle the issue to reduce the effects.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: