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Band 6

climate change is a hufe bromlem for a makind. what are the causes and the effects of it?

#climate #change #hufe #bromlem #makind #effects
Nowadays, one of the major issues among people is
climate
change
. There are obvious causes for
this
 problem and inevitable(unavoidable) consequences. There could be an uncountable number of sources of
climate
change
;
however
, there are some which are already out of control.
Firstly
, the major cause is the pollution caused by human beings, throwing out an enormous amount of litter and emitting harmful gases into the atmosphere.
Moreover
, factories, which have
even
Add an article
an even
the even
show examples
 higher effect, produce, and release more gases by burning fossil fuel and other substances, being the principal motive to disturb the whole world from a calm lifestyle.
Lastly
,
climate
change
’s cause could be attributed to deforestation. Since plants and trees play a vital role in converting carbon dioxide into oxygen, when manufacturers cut them down to build up a factory, produce goods and services, and make maximum profit, they create horrible
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 not only for the wild animals but
also
 for the humankind. The effects of
this
 matter are even worse. The first thing that
climate
change
 can do for an ordinary human is the influence on their immune system. The well-being of a person is commonly accepted as the dominant priority;
however
, the implications of
climate
change
 do not support the same notion. A lot of people suffer from continuous diseases and end up in hospitals
due to
adverse
Correct article usage
the adverse
show examples
 consequences of
climate
change
.
Furthermore
, the temperature of the locations had a wide swap, leading to multiple storms, rains
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc.
Finaly
Correct your spelling
Finally
,
climate
change
 causes some areas and parts of the world to dry out and create water shortages or simply deserts.
To conclude
,
climate
change
 has many causes
guiding
Verb problem
leading
show examples
 to horrific results for the
world
Change noun form
world's
show examples
 citizens.
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task achievement
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, try to develop each point a bit further for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay has good logical flow, the connections between the causes and effects could be elaborated more clearly. You might want to use more linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
task achievement
Try to be more specific in your examples and statistics to enhance the quality of the argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and outlines the focus of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have included a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
logical structure
Your essay shows a logical structure by addressing the causes first and then the effects, which helps to guide the reader through your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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