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Band 6

climate change is a hufe bromlem for a makind. what are the causes and the effects of it?

#climate #change #hufe #bromlem #makind #effects
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Nowadays, one of the major issues among people is
climate
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change
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. There are obvious causes for
this
Linking Words
 problem and inevitable(unavoidable) consequences. There could be an uncountable number of sources of
climate
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change
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;
however
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, there are some which are already out of control.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the major cause is the pollution caused by human beings, throwing out an enormous amount of litter and emitting harmful gases into the atmosphere.
Moreover
Linking Words
, factories, which have
even
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an even
the even
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 higher effect, produce, and release more gases by burning fossil fuel and other substances, being the principal motive to disturb the whole world from a calm lifestyle.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
climate
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change
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’s cause could be attributed to deforestation. Since plants and trees play a vital role in converting carbon dioxide into oxygen, when manufacturers cut them down to build up a factory, produce goods and services, and make maximum profit, they create horrible
condition
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conditions
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 not only for the wild animals but
also
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 for the humankind. The effects of
this
Linking Words
 matter are even worse. The first thing that
climate
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change
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 can do for an ordinary human is the influence on their immune system. The well-being of a person is commonly accepted as the dominant priority;
however
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, the implications of
climate
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change
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 do not support the same notion. A lot of people suffer from continuous diseases and end up in hospitals
due to
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adverse
Correct article usage
the adverse
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 consequences of
climate
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change
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.
Furthermore
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, the temperature of the locations had a wide swap, leading to multiple storms, rains
and
Correct word choice
apply
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etc.
Finaly
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Finally
,
climate
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change
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 causes some areas and parts of the world to dry out and create water shortages or simply deserts.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
climate
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change
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 has many causes
guiding
Verb problem
leading
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 to horrific results for the
world
Change noun form
world's
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 citizens.
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task achievement
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, try to develop each point a bit further for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay has good logical flow, the connections between the causes and effects could be elaborated more clearly. You might want to use more linking words and phrases to improve coherence.
task achievement
Try to be more specific in your examples and statistics to enhance the quality of the argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and outlines the focus of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have included a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
logical structure
Your essay shows a logical structure by addressing the causes first and then the effects, which helps to guide the reader through your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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