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Writing Samples
Band 6

The use of artificial intelligence (AI) is becoming increasingly widespread in various c. Is this a positive or negative development?

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In recent years, the usage of artificial
intelligence
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 has become more and more common among generations. Some people believe that it is beneficial
due to
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 the improvement of convenience and efficiency,
while
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 others argue about its potential drawbacks. In my opinion,
although
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 AI usage offers numerous advantages, the growing tendency toward using AI can have significant flaws that need to be paid attention to. On the one hand, AI's emergence has caused a great shift in business development, providing an opportunity to make business operations easier and more proficient.
Moreover
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, artificial
intelligence
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 analyzes vast amounts of data, which modernizes processes and guarantees
of
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apply
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information preservation.
Furthermore
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, AI is used in the education system, mostly by students,
due to
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 the fact that it is enabled all day long, which makes it more attractive for studying.
In addition
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, artificial
intelligence
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 gives an immediate answer to requests that saves time
and
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apply
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improves human productivity and automates processes. 
On the other hand
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, the usage of AI has some detrimental sides,
such
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 as
alack
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a lack
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 of creativity and privacy concerns. Artificial
intelligence
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 is primarily based on existing information, which reduces the creativity of work because it cannot replace a human’s imagination and ability to think. What is more, because of its usefulness and efficiency, more and more people rely only on AI, which means a reduction in critical thinking and
increasing
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increased
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 laziness.
Additionally
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, AI collects vast amounts of information, including private data, which is
also
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 disadvantageous
due to
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 security regulations. In conclusion, despite the fact that artificial
intelligence
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 has numerous advantages and improves proficiency in many aspects, a large number of uses can lead to a reduction in human identity and data leaks.

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task achievement
While the introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument, it could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement that outlines your position more clearly. Consider revising it to make your stance more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are quite long and could be broken down for better readability. Aim for clarity by keeping sentences concise and focused on one main idea at a time.
task achievement
In the paragraphs discussing the drawbacks of AI, providing more specific examples or scenarios could strengthen your arguments and enhance their relevance. Consider including examples that illustrate your points more vividly.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of AI.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of your essay is generally effective, with separate paragraphs devoted to each main point, which aids readability.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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