Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of chargin people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #admissions

Nowadays, some

museums

charge

visitors

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

entry

fees

while

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others are free of charge and

people

can visit them without paying

admissions

Fix the agreement mistake

admission

show examples

Although

charging

visitors

might bring about drawbacks, I believe that the merits outweigh the disadvantageous in many ways. Some

people

assume that imposing entry

fees

have negative consequences.

Firstly

as a result

this

phenomenon some poor

people

or students with low incomes will be deprived of visiting these places,

thus

they lose the opportunity to learn new information about their culture and history.

Moreover

this

trend can discourage

people

, especially teenagers, in order to visit

museums

. In

this

contemporary era, there are various free activities available to children

such

as video games or online film streaming, and they might prefer these activities to

museums

hence

they can not be in touch with culture and history which is demonstrated in

museums

. In spite of mentioned demerits, I opine that levying

fees

Change preposition

show examples

visitors

can bring about numerous

Change preposition

apply

show examples

advantageous

Replace the word

advantages

show examples

. Primarily, the collected money can meet the expenditures of

museums

. There is an array of precious and valuable

objects

and sites in the

museums

that should be protected from not only thefts but

also

damages that might be caused by ignorant

visitors

. These

fees

can be applied to hire more security guards to protect

these cultural and historical heritage

Change the determiner

this cultural and historical heritage

show examples

Furthermore

, these charged

admissions

can meet the costs of refurbishing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old and damaged

objects

. Some of the ancient

objects

face

damages

Fix the agreement mistake

damage

show examples

or lose their attractive

colors

Change the spelling

colours

show examples

and designs after thousands of years and need to be renewed which has astronomical costs and the required money can be provided through imposed

admissions

hence

people

will be encouraged to visit the

museums

demonstrating a range of various attractive

objects

. In conclusion, despite

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

disadvantageous, imposing

admissions

to museum

visitors

can lead to beneficial impacts for maintaining these places in terms of both safety and attractiveness.

Submitted by mohammadmgh1381 on Wed Jul 19 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Cultural heritage
Preservation
Exclusionary
Revenue
Artifact
Maintenance
Engagement
Admission fee
Cultural enrichment
Sustainable funding

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
You need a website for your business, and you would like to ask your friend to build it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •Include a brief description of your business •Explain what you would like to have on the website •Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.
Hello, my dear friend. I hope this letter find you good.
<4
band
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal questions such as their hobbies and interest, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Discuss both side and give your opinion.
I personally believe that reading news from electronic media or other sources is better than newspapers because people can easily access them when they doing something else.
6.5
band
in many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public Why is this happening? do you think it is an approriate use of government money?
In recent years, governments worldwide have increasingly allocated significant funds to invest in technology. While this trend has its merits of enhancing efficiency and effectiveness, it also raises questions about the appropriateness and effective utilization of public money. This essay explores the reasons behind government technology expenses and evaluates their appropriateness.
4
band
Several cities around the globe subscribed the idea of vertical development for residential buildings, others promtote independent houses in larger areas.
Several cities around the globe subscribed the idea of vertical development for residential buildings, others promtote independent houses in larger areas. I believe that providing taller residential apartments is the best way for the development of cities as ample reasons are present to substantiate it. This essay will delve into my viewpoint with relevant illustrations.
8
band
•Task 2: In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In modern society, it is quite common for a person to part with his or her family and friends in search of employment. Despite contrary ideas, it is my belief that the benefits such departures bring about are more noticeable.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of chargin people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You need a website for your business, and you would like to ask your friend to build it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter •Include a brief description of your business •Explain what you would like to have on the website •Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal questions such as their hobbies and interest, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

in many countries government are investing in new technology to deal with the public Why is this happening? do you think it is an approriate use of government money?

Several cities around the globe subscribed the idea of vertical development for residential buildings, others promtote independent houses in larger areas.

•Task 2: In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?