IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Environmental problems are caused by technological development. Some people say that the solution to these problems is for everyone to lead a simpler way of life while others say that technology can solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 suggest that technological progress leads to aggregating environmental problems. With the trend of technological progress,
people
Use synonyms
 pursue
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quality of
life
Use synonyms
 which results in various environmental problems. To combat environmental
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
, some suggest leading a simpler
way
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, others recommend
technology
Use synonyms
 itself
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 a possible solution. Both
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 will be discussed in the following paragraphs. In my opinion, I support that
technology
Use synonyms
 can cope with environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. A simpler
way
Use synonyms
 of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 can reduce the desire of
people
Use synonyms
 which can alleviate the pressure on water, land,
air
Use synonyms
 and other natural resources. Technological enhancement has led to the rise of factories which enables mass production of goods and products
in
Change preposition
at
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low
Correct article usage
a low
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 cost.
For example
Linking Words
, the factories of fast fashion industries produce affordable clothes.
Due to
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 a lower price,
people
Use synonyms
 do not think carefully before they buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clothes
and
Correct word choice
which
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 results in wastage. At the same time, lots of sewage have been discharged in the progress of production. With a simple
way
Use synonyms
 of
life
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 will have less desire
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 clothes, food, travelling
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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Hence
Linking Words
, with a lower demand
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 these products, extra
waste
Use synonyms
 and pollutants can be avoided.
Nevertheless
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,
technology
Use synonyms
 is the key to
mitigate
Change the verb form
mitigating
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 pollution. Personally, the merits brought by
Use synonyms
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 advancement outweigh the demerits brought by it.
Firstly
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, the breakthrough in renewable energy
technology
Use synonyms
 e.g. nuclear, water, wind, solar etc. provides the community with
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
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 energy supply.
Secondly
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, recycling
technology
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 assists in reducing
waste
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a local environmental activist has built a factory which
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 worms to
dispose
Add the preposition
ofdispose
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 food
waste
Use synonyms
 sourced from nearby food factories and communities.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
technology
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 helps to combat
air
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 pollution.
For example
Linking Words
, the introduction of electric
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 makes the
air
Use synonyms
 cleaner in the urban area.
To conclude
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, it is undeniable that technological development has caused some negative impacts on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. A change in our
Use synonyms
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 can be a
way
Use synonyms
 to alleviate the problem.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that it is essential to provide a sustainable environment to our future generation
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 introducing
renewable
Correct article usage
a renewable
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 energy supply,
curbing
Correct word choice
and curbing
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amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
waste
Use synonyms
 and
air
Use synonyms
 pollutants.

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