There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
In some countries, there is an obligation to study for a minimum of twelve years. Because of that, many
people
nowadays succeed academically with a lot of pressure. But in some ways, some people
think that other things besides
academic subjects are not necessary anymore and should be removed from the school curriculum. If this
opinion going to happen, will there be a balance of life
?
With a genuine heart, I disagree with those people
's opinions. I realise that academic subjects are important things, so it gives many individuals success in the future. With that promise, parents registered their children
to some after-school academic courses. But in reality, so many children
get depressed because of this
pressure. Not a few of them study only to get high scores on exams and do not understand the essence of studying.
Studying, especially academic studying, is an activity that most uses the mind, not the physical. If children
spend almost all their time in a day studying, their physics will not move much and easy to get sore. This
also
can make children
get burned straightforward. And the effect of those aches is not only for the short term but will last
for a long time, maybe until they get old. This
indicates that physical education is a really important thing to do so that our brain and physics perform their functions in a balanced way. Not forgotten, cookery and other life
skills are also
the main keys to having a balance and surviving life
.
Although
there are many people
who believe that other things besides
academic subjects are not important and should be removed from the school syllabus, not all of them estimate the bad effects of it and think in a holistic way. If we want to be successful person, we should not only mind our brain but our physical activity and life
skills also
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear logical structure by organizing your essay into clearly defined paragraphs, each with a distinct main idea. This will enhance the logical flow and overall cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly states your position on the issue and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and reaffirms your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with more detailed explanations, evidence, or examples to strengthen the argument and add persuasiveness to your essay.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by providing a complete response to the question, and ensure that your essay remains focused on the topic throughout.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and depth in expressing your ideas, making the essay comprehensible and insightful for the reader.
task achievement
To substantiate your points, incorporate relevant and specific examples that are directly linked to the argument you are making.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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