There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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In some countries, there is an obligation to study for a minimum of twelve years. Because of that, many
people
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nowadays succeed academically with a lot of pressure. But in some ways, some
people
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think that other things
besides
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academic subjects are not necessary anymore and should be removed from the school curriculum. If
this
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opinion going to happen, will there be a balance of
life
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? With a genuine heart, I disagree with those
people
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's opinions. I realise that academic subjects are important things, so it gives many individuals success in the future. With that promise, parents registered their
children
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to some after-school academic courses. But in reality, so many
children
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get depressed because of
this
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pressure. Not a few of them study only to get high scores on exams and do not understand the essence of studying. Studying, especially academic studying, is an activity that most uses the mind, not the physical. If
children
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spend almost all their time in a day studying, their physics will not move much and easy to get sore.
This
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also
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can make
children
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get burned straightforward. And the effect of those aches is not only for the short term but will
last
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for a long time, maybe until they get old.
This
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indicates that physical education is a really important thing to do so that our brain and physics perform their functions in a balanced way. Not forgotten, cookery and other
life
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skills are
also
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the main keys to having a balance and surviving
life
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.
Although
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there are many
people
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who believe that other things
besides
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academic subjects are not important and should be removed from the school syllabus, not all of them estimate the bad effects of it and think in a holistic way. If we want to be successful person, we should not only mind our brain but our physical activity and
life
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skills
also
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.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pressure
  • succeed
  • academically
  • non-academic
  • physical education
  • cookery
  • school syllabus
  • concentrate
  • academic work
  • well-rounded
  • enhancement
  • practical skills
  • balanced education system
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