IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It has become very common for people to borrow money. Most people havea credit card, a mortagage and often they will buy a car on credit as well. Is this a good idea or is it too risky? Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #money #havea #credit #card #mortagage #car #idea
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Taking Credits and bank loans are becoming a trend nowadays. Today's population are fulfilling their need with the aid they get from the nation, family, or friends.
For instance
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, if we talk about taking a brand-new car. It is hard for a common man to afford the total price of the car and
due to
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this
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, he will search for the options of EMI. They knock on the door of banks and or any other private money lenders.
This
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 is the feasible option for the middle-class population to meet their requirements as they can repay the huge sum of amount into small distributed amounts.
Secondly
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, we come across a community who are against taking credit. Taking money from the government or private sector on the interest rate is not a good decision in their opinion. In their thought, one should not spend beyond the earnings. Needs must be kept inside the circumference of the income. Going on interest is risky and can damage financial stability. Sometimes when people cannot pay back the monthly amount, the interest rate will
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increase
subsequently
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 which is very harmful. It will destroy mental peace and
affects
Correct subject-verb agreement
affect
show examples
 the health of human beings. Despite the fashion, that utilizing credit cards and mortgages is significantly increasing, we
also
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 find societies that contradict
this
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 statement. In my vision, spending must be limited
according to
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 income. The equilibrium of expenses vs income must be maintained.
This
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 will result in
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
show examples
 and happy sweet life. If you go for the various options which are available in the current era for lending money, you cannot carry
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
show examples
 financial status.
Submitted by syedilyas2023s on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your opinion. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your opinion. Also, work on developing the logical structure of your essay to improve coherence.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task and presented clear and comprehensive ideas. Ensure that your examples are more relevant to the given topic and that you address both views in more detail.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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