IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today, science has so many goals,
such
Linking Words
 as space exploration or maritime discovery.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly agree that the primary goal should be to improve people's time, because without their contribution, science would stagnate, and because in
this
Linking Words
 way, progress can be achieved more easily and quickly. Science is held by the population, and in order not to stagnate and without progress, it is very important to make everybody comfortable and help them.
This
Linking Words
 especially applies to scientists who are responsible for progress. To make these people happy and motivated to work, it is crucial to do research that leads to improving their activity.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey published in The New York Times states that helping scientists by improving their lives makes them more motivated to work, and their performance increases.
In addition
Linking Words
, improving the existence of the population contributes to making the development go much more quickly and be achieved more easily. If scientists focused first on the improve of life quality, they would have much more time to focus on other things like space or the sea.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend Nicolas Romero, who is an important scientist, said to me that he noticed that when scientific improvement goes the fastest is when the level of life quality is high.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I completely agree that the main aim of scientific research is to increase the quality of people's current lives. In
this
Linking Words
 way, development would not be obstructed, and it would even go faster.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity
Make your view clear in the first sentence and keep it in mind through the essay.
structure
Use one main idea per paragraph and explain with a simple example.
content
Use real, simple examples and explain how they prove your point.
language
Check grammar and word form; fix mistakes like 'the improve' and 'life quality' phrasing.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas connect.
content
Explain how science helps people, not only ideas, in your body paragraphs.
content
The stance on the topic is clear.
structure
There is a clear essay structure with introduction, body, and conclusion.
content
Some examples are used to back up ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: