The chart above shows the number of homes built between 2000 and 2009 in two cities, Derby and Nottingham.

The chart above shows the number of homes built between 2000 and 2009 in two cities, Derby and Nottingham.
The bar chart gives information about how many
houses
were built each
year
in
Derby
and
Nottingham
from 2000 to 2009.
Overall
,
it is clear that
both figures for
houses
built in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
cities witnessed a great fluctuation and significant increase over the 9-
year
period.
In addition
,
Derby
had more
houses
which were built per
year
in comparison to
Nottingham
except for 2000, 2001 and 2007. In the beginning, the
figure
for
houses
constructed in
Derby
started at just over 45
while
Nottingham
’s
figure
began at 50. After 3 years, an upward trend to more than 100 was seen in the number of newly built homes in
Derby
before remaining the same until 2006.
By contrast
,
Nottingham
witnessed a slight decrease to less than 30 in 2002
then
fluctuating around 50.
Moreover
, the
figure
for
houses
built in
Nottingham
hit the lowest point of nearly 10
houses
in 2006 and just over 10 in 2008.
However
, in 2007, there seems to be a reverse trend that shows more than 190
houses
were constructed in
Nottingham
compared with more than 100 in
Derby
.
Lastly
, in the final
year
, the number of
houses
constructed per
year
in
Derby
reached the highest point at approximately 350
houses
while
that
figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Nottingham
grew dramatically and finished at less than 100
houses
.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words houses, year, derby, nottingham, figure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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