IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Getting promotion is one of the biggest driver for people to apply to themselves and work hard in the modern workplace. Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?

#promotion #driver #people #work #workplace #factors #influence
People
 working in all organizations have one thing in common between them i.e. working hard to get a promotion. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the link between increasing effort in order to improve their status at the office. The employees in all companies focus on putting in a lot of effort to improve their progress. One of the leading factors among all others is to earn a better position. There are so many benefits associated with it.
Firstly
, the
person
 is automatically eligible for more power and authority.
Secondly
, the availability of more benefits
such
 as an increase in the amount of health insurance for his family, the eligibility for a chance to earn a house, a plot, and a cash bonus.
Thirdly
, some of the firms
also
 provide luxurious vehicles.
In addition
, they may sponsor a yearly family trip to the desired destination.
However
, a higher position is not the only one to encourage them. There are other possibilities
such
 as to increase their knowledge about different practical and theoretical aspects. These
people
 strive hard to learn new and updated technologies, which would help them later in life. These
people
 do not go for materialistic benefits rather they try to accomplish goals for their eternal happiness and satisfaction.
Moreover
, there is a chance recruits are more interested in maintaining their profile.
To sum up
, the stair to being an authoritative
person
 is working hard. The
people
 whose aim is to hold a better seat always work eagerly, and they do not go after shortcuts. These humans spend their days and nights solving the high complexity tasks.
On the other hand
, there are some other attractions which involve them to work strongly.
This
 totally depends on
person
 to
person
 about what they intend to do and what are their goals.
Submitted by sadiakhan971 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: