An increasing number of children have become hooked on fast food and aerated drinks that do not provide much nutrition. This poor diet has led to a rise in obesity among children. What are the problems that are associated with obesity in children and what steps could be taken to prevent it?

In
this
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modern era, the most of the youngsters are giving more preference to processed
food
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that do not provide any nutrition, and
also
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becoming the reason of obesity. The issues associated with the obesity amongest the
children
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, they are becoming less active, and the victim of various
diseases
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. There are several steps that can be taken to solve
this
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problem that will be discussed in detail in upcoming paragraphs. One of the main problems that attached with obese
children
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is that they will become lethargic. As these
children
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will find difficult to do any physical
activities
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,
such
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as: running, exercise, and walking, they just prefer to sit on the bed for the whole day. In
this
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way, they will try to avoid all outdoor
activities
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, and become the victim of indoor
activities
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. Another issue is overweight
children
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will become the victim of various
diseases
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. Because ready-made meal not only contain any nutritions, protiens and vitamins like home-made meal, but
also
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contains harmful gases,
for example
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: carbondioxide in coca-cola that usually drink.
Thus
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, by consuming
this
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type of
food
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, teenagers will come into contact of various harmful
diseases
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,
for instance
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: cancer, cardiovascular disease. To resolve these problems, one effective solution could be the parents try to involve
children
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in various physical
activities
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, especially in the morning and evening times in terms of walking.
Apart from
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this
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, they can
also
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provides
children
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with tasty home-made
food
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rather than fast
food
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, by making the dishes more tasteful with proper nutritions at home.
As a result
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, they neither caught any
diseases
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nor feel any less active lifestyles. In conclusion,
although
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ready-made
food
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will arise several
diseases
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, and become the reason of boring lifestyles amongest the
children
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,
this
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problem can be avoided with the advent of parents efforts for their
children
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by providing them with home- made
food
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.

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structure
In the intro, give a clear plan. State what you will talk about and your view.
coherence
Each paragraph should hold one main idea. Start with that idea and add a short example.
coherence
Use linking words like also and for example to join ideas.
content
Give simple and real examples that fit the topic.
grammar
Check spell and grammar. Some words are misspelled or wrong.
task response
Finish with a short conclusion that repeats your main idea.
content
The essay shows a real care to the topic of child obesity.
structure
There is a plan to the steps to stop the problem.
structure
There are paragraphs that hold ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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