IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#spite #advances #agriculture #people #world #case
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We see a great deal of improvement in
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the agriculture
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agriculture
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agricultural
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 field,
hunger
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problem
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 is still one of the major
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problem
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problems
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 for
governments
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. The reason for
this
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 is that some
people
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 in
governments
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specially
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especially
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are chasing
money
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 consider food and
agriculture’s
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agriculture
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product
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products
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 as a source of revenue and try to earn
money
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 by making
people
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 hungry.
Thus
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, a vital and effective solution for
this
Linking Words
 issue is necessary and it should provide by WHO and other
health
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organization
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organizations
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 and police departments. Suffering from
hunger
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 is still one of the biggest
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problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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 despite
improvement
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improvements
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 in agriculture and just considering income and
money
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 from some ambitious
people
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 is the main reason
of
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for
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 that. It means some
people
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 look at
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hunger
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the hunger
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problem
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 around the
world
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 as an opportunity to earn
money
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.
Therefore
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, they buy
agriculture’s
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agriculture
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product
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products
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 from
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the farmer
a farmer
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farmer
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farmers
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 and try to find countries that give them more
money
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 and
due to
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this
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 fact poor
country
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countries
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 cannot effort buying food production for their
people
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.
Thus
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, since we have
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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 of
people
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 in
governments
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, we cannot solve
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hunger
Correct article usage
the hunger
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 issue. One solution for
this
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 huge
problem
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 is that
governments
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 should work with
health
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organization
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 and WHO to solve it.
This
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 means that WHO and
health
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organization
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organizations
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 should ensure that
agriculture
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agricultural
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 goods, produce in
healthy
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a healthy
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situation
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situations
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 and
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that farmer
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farmer
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farmers
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 trade their product directly with
governments
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not
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,not
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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third person.
Moreover
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,
governments
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 should always spend a part of
yearly
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the yearly
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 budget to find criminals and
the
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apply
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people
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 who want
earn
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to earn
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money
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 by trading with
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people
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people's
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 problems.
Therefore
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,
governments
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 and police departments all over the
world
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 should
alliance
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ally
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 to avoid illegal trading
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of agriculture’s
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agriculture’s
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agriculture
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 products. In conclusion,
hunger
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problem
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 is a serious issue all over the
world
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 and it can cause major
health
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 for children and adults
specially
Replace the word
especially
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who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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 are living in deprived areas.
Thus
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, it is an obligation for
governments
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 and all
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organization
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organizations
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 around the
world
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 to solve
this
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 major
problem
Use synonyms
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
What to do next:
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