Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #inventions #phones

In the modern world, thanks to the development of technology, there were many devices

were

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

invented which have an impact on people's

communication

While

I accept that using mobile phones helps us easily contact

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

others, I

also

believe that

this

trend is detrimental to the depth of human connection. On the one hand, the invention of smartphones helps to enhance

communication

opportunities. With an internet-connected smartphone, we can keep in contact regularly with our family and friends separated great distances by making video

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

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, sending messages or event videos. Using social media

such

as Facebook or Instagram helps us have more chances to interact with others as we can share our latest activities and get more personal information about someone whom we

are

Correct your spelling

care

show examples

caring

Verb problem

apply

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about.

On the other hand

, exposing too much to hand phones or other digital devices may lead to

reduce

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

social connection.

This

is because people are likely to spend more time on online entertainment activities

instead

of taking part in sports activities which not only improve their health but

also

help to develop

communication

abilities. My nephew,

for instance

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

usually plays video games and watches

Tiktok

Correct your spelling

TikTok

show examples

videos after going back from school, he is becoming addicted to games and shy when talking to his neighbour's kids.

Furthermore

, the lack of non-verbal

communication

in people who usually spend to on social networks might cause a decrease in social skills that might lead to ineffectively

empress

Correct your spelling

expressing

show examples

their

emotion

Fix the agreement mistake

emotions

show examples

and

misunderstand

Wrong verb form

misunderstanding

show examples

other's feelings in real-life conservation. In conclusion,

although

the inventions of technological gadgets provide some opportunities for connection, it seems to me that it has potentially negative effects on the result of

communication

Submitted by nttung.182 on Fri Jul 21 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure a clear and comprehensive introduction that sets up the topic and your position clearly.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position clearly, providing closure to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent time economic growth has made some people richer in both developed and developing countries. While studies show that people in developing countries are happier now than before, people in developed countries are no happier than they were before.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are marries or single. some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.