Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It is an undeniable fact that today adults spend too little time with their
children
and replace it with phones
, causing many children
to start spending more time on phones
instead
of other things and social activities. leading to phone addiction and in my opinion, this
has a negative impact on their health and social life.
Social networking applications and video games are the main reasons why children
are increasingly addicted to their phones
. We can mention some applications like Facebook or Tiktok
. I do not claim that it is completely bad, but somewhere on Correct your spelling
TikTok
this
application
there is still content Add a comma
application,
that is
not suitable for children
.
Regarding the games, they are set up as a cycle. When we finish playing a level, it will ask if we want to play again. If we continue, we will repeat the same cycle until completion. Because every child is curious and wants to win, they may continue to play, leading to serious phone addiction. In the past, when phones
only had some basic features such
as calling and texting, we could see very few children
addicted to phones
like today. I believe this
trend could have a negative impact on children
's health. The blue light of mobile phones
is harmful to the eyes, causing various problems
such
as eye irritation and poor vision. Furthermore
, long-term mobile phone addiction can lead to many health problems
, such
as fatigue and sleep disorders.
And
Correct word choice
Children
children
who are addicted to their phones
will have very few in-person friends, causing their communication, solving problems
and problem-solving skills to gradually decline. A recent study by Northwestern University, USA also
showed that people who focus on mobile phones
for 68 minutes or more a day are at risk of depression, due to
lack of communication. Children
who use phones
for long periods of time are also
susceptible to negative emotions, impairing their eyesight and affecting the brain. Another serious consequence is the creation of attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder.
In short, using phones
too much affects children
's development and future, creating more problems
in society.Submitted by jakelong16091994 on
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structure
The essay requires a clear introduction, body, and conclusion structure, which should be distinctly identifiable, with each paragraph having a clear central topic. It's crucial that each point made in support of the argument is relevant and elaborated upon.
task
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. The question asks for the reasons behind the phenomenon as well as whether it's viewed as positive or negative, so you need to spend adequate time on both aspects.
development
Make sure to provide specific examples to support each point. General statements are less compelling than those backed by concrete details or data, even if hypothetical or generalized.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to accurately express precise meanings and to avoid repetition of words and phrases.
grammar
Work on using a greater variety of sentence structures to showcase your grammatical range. Utilize complex sentences and different sentence starters to make your writing more engaging and demonstrate control over the language.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.