In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

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It is said that many people are advising

children

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to try their best in order to gain something. I believe that

this

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idea brings various beneficial impacts towards the

children

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however

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, several drawbacks

also

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could happen.

To begin

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with,

children

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are most likely to easily get influenced since they are normally curious about everything. In

this

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case, not only

parents

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, but other family members can help advocate for them to be passionate in their effort and wait for the worth.

Consequently

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, many beneficial effects

such

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as creating some motivation for them could teach them to become consistent and patient.

Additionally

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, the optimistic feeling could help the

children

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face

further

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hardships as they grow older.

For example

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, because they got used to not receiving unnecessary help from their

parents

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since they were a child, many young people successfully bought their own house with their income.

On the other hand

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this

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could

also

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lead to many worse possibilities,

such

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as some

children

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are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

often blaming and comparing themselves to others if they don't achieve their goals.

As a result

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, they will be hard on themselves which could lead to several mental problems.

Moreover

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children

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will be pessimists and try to avoid other chances because they think that they

also

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will fail.

For instance

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, many

children

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see themselves as a burden if they don't bring any benefits to their

parents

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, whether it is related to academics or other areas. In

this

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case, it is not uncommon for them to hurt themselves. In conclusion, it is a good idea to advocate for

children

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in their early days since it will shape their characters.

Nevertheless

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, it is

also

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necessary for

parents

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to inform their descendants that their efforts are not useless and they are worth it no matter what.

talithanakhwah19Mon Jan 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Be sure to have a clear logical structure by organizing your essay into paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Ensure each paragraph has a main idea and that all subsequent sentences elaborate on that idea.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your position and summarise your main points. Make sure your conclusion does not introduce new ideas but rather wraps up your essay effectively.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. These examples should illustrate your ideas clearly and be specific rather than generic.

task achievement

Ensure you fully address the task by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally and providing a clear personal stance on the issue throughout your essay.

task achievement

Develop each point with comprehensive details that add depth to your argument. Avoid repeating the same ideas; instead, expand on them with clear reasoning or examples.

task achievement

Incorporate specific examples to support your points, avoid vague statements. Examples should be relevant and strengthen your argument. Consider using real-life scenarios or hypothetical situations to illustrate your ideas better.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some organizations and companies say older people are better as leaders while some say young people are better as leader. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development.

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food, or animal products for clothing and medicine, for example. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion? prison = dangrous, and consequence Rehabilitation = fix, mental problems

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education.