these dayes it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#dayes #people #travel #countries #tourism #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

todays

Add a comma

,todays

show examples

people lifestyle

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

is a

neccesity

Correct your spelling

necessity

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they go to different countries each year.

Moreover

Linking Words

, nowadays all the people around the world can visit even different continents easily and it is not a big deal. There are several advantages and disadvantages

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

development.

Firstly

Linking Words

, as the transportation system

grow

Correct subject-verb agreement

grows

show examples

, each person can buy a train or airplane ticket in order to travel easier and as fast as it can be in each holiday.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

adventurous experience leads people to be

in different

Correct your spelling

indifferent

show examples

and difficult situations and get out of their comfort zone to relax and release their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

after

the

Correct article usage

show examples

hard-working period.

In addition

Linking Words

, every

cities

Change to a singular noun

city

show examples

have many tourist attraction which can

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

bussines

Correct your spelling

business

for the local communities there.

For example

Linking Words

, Shiraz has the best tourist attractions in Iran.

Although

Linking Words

, it is an industrial city

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

tourists have made a big

bussines

Correct your spelling

business

for restaurants and traditional markets in our city.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

a perfect opportunity to expand and teach other about our culture and share our amazing dishes.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the population grow faster than a blink and the consumption of fossil oil for transportation and water crisis in different cities are unbelievable.

Although

Linking Words

, tourists have a lot of advantages

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

the disadvantages like

plluted

Correct your spelling

polluted

air which is the result of

Correct article usage

the

show examples

use of cars, trains, subways and so on. They emitted carbon dioxide and

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

made health diseases.

Moreover

Linking Words

, tourists may not behave

atically

Correct your spelling

atomically

ethically

in nature so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they might harm the environment of the destination. For

instant

Add an article

an instant

show examples

, they litter in forests and beaches or they may write or touch the ancient status and destroy them all. In conclusion, despite it is much easier than

befor

Correct your spelling

before

to travel to different cities for tourism. I think the disadvantages overcome the advantages in many points.

Submitted by javadsaady1992 on Sat Jul 22 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rate. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?
Global warming and sea levels which continue to rise have been problems that threaten our planet. A lot of people around the world think if governments do not take actions regarding these issues. human will be in danger. However, this essay, will discuss the problems associated with it, and what are the possible solutions.
5.5
band
Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can the government do to reduce the amount of waste produced?
With the developing of the current industry,there is more and more rubbish produced by factories and families,I do believe that is not a good phenomenon.For the reasons why this is happening, I will discuss it from various visions as follows.
4
band
Modern communications mean that it’s no longer necessary to write letters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Communication is an essential part of today's world. We cannot imagine living alone. We have to communicate with others to survive and to complete multiple tasks. So communication has always been important in human history.
5
band
Some people believe that hoobies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extend do agree or disagree?
A hobby is an activity that we enjoy doing in our free time.Hobbys distract us from work and can relax our brain and body.To enjoy this process,some of us believe that hobbies should be hard-to-do.I completely disagree with this idea.In my opinion,it is not necessary to do extreme activities,since it is harmful to health and there are other free time activities that are more enjoyable.In the forthcoming paragraphs,I shall expound my thoughts in detail.
4.5
band
Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?
In society, families hold the biggest influence over their child’s education and enhancement. Otherwise, other factors such as friend, television, and child’s outside environment also play a huge part on their development. This essay will discuss both opinions.

these dayes it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rate. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can the government do to reduce the amount of waste produced?

Modern communications mean that it’s no longer necessary to write letters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that hoobies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extend do agree or disagree?

Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?