these dayes it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#dayes #people #travel #countries #tourism #development

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

todays

Add a comma

,todays

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people lifestyle

traveling

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travelling

show examples

is a

neccesity

Correct your spelling

necessity

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they go to different countries each year.

Moreover

, nowadays all the people around the world can visit even different continents easily and it is not a big deal. There are several advantages and disadvantages

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

development.

Firstly

, as the transportation system

grow

Correct subject-verb agreement

grows

show examples

, each person can buy a train or airplane ticket in order to travel easier and as fast as it can be in each holiday.

Furthermore

this

adventurous experience leads people to be

in different

Correct your spelling

indifferent

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and difficult situations and get out of their comfort zone to relax and release their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

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after

the

Correct article usage

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hard-working period.

In addition

, every

cities

Change to a singular noun

city

show examples

have many tourist attraction which can

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

bussines

Correct your spelling

business

for the local communities there.

For example

, Shiraz has the best tourist attractions in Iran.

Although

, it is an industrial city

but

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apply

show examples

tourists have made a big

bussines

Correct your spelling

business

for restaurants and traditional markets in our city.

Additionally

this

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

a perfect opportunity to expand and teach other about our culture and share our amazing dishes.

On the other hand

, the population grow faster than a blink and the consumption of fossil oil for transportation and water crisis in different cities are unbelievable.

Although

, tourists have a lot of advantages

but

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apply

show examples

the disadvantages like

plluted

Correct your spelling

polluted

air which is the result of

Correct article usage

the

show examples

use of cars, trains, subways and so on. They emitted carbon dioxide and

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

made health diseases.

Moreover

, tourists may not behave

atically

Correct your spelling

atomically

ethically

in nature so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they might harm the environment of the destination. For

instant

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an instant

show examples

, they litter in forests and beaches or they may write or touch the ancient status and destroy them all. In conclusion, despite it is much easier than

befor

Correct your spelling

before

to travel to different cities for tourism. I think the disadvantages overcome the advantages in many points.

Submitted by javadsaady1992 on Sat Jul 22 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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these dayes it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Counties are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

For centuries, important parts of education have remained, such as reading, writing and maths. With the advent of computers, some people think that computer skills be made us a fourth skill to be added to the list. To what extent do you agree?