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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that young people who commit serious crimes，such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The personality and attitude of a person,
as well as
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 their ability to effectively interact with others and their surroundings, is dictated by their upbringing. Both giuridical and psycological studies show how teens and young
adults
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 who experienced a difficult or abusive childhood find establishing connections and bonds with other people more challenging than their more fortunate peers. Basing on these premises, researchers believe punishing criminal offences committed by teens or kids as harshly as the ones committed by
adults
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 to be counterproductive: as a matter of fact, it is proven how a too severe punishment may lead the convict to resent the government and society in general,
consequently
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 pushing the person to pursue a criminal profession over a honest one. Psycological consequences aside, we need to keep in mind how children participating in criminal behaviours are, as said before, product of their own environment: data show how the vast majority of young
adults
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 committing felonies are actually living in extreme poverty, and poverty is a powerful catalist for gang activity. In most cases, these gangs groom children into committing crimes, in order to use them to execute their agenda.
Thus
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, more often than not young people may be an unassuming participant in criminal plans. In light of
this
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, punishing a
child
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 with the same penalty designed for an adult is not advisable, because it erases all these nuances. Rather, it would be advisable to design a reintroduction in society plan for the
child
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, investing in the
child
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's instruction and tutition,
as well as
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 their psycological wellbeing.
As a result
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,
at the end
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 of the plan the
child
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 may have all the tools to find their footing as a young participant in society and interact effectively and honestly with peers,
adults
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 and institutions.
Moreover
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, the
child
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 may have the competences
to conclude
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 their studies and find a fullfilling job in the future.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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