Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is commonly argued that there are more advantages when living in urban
areas
compared to rural areas
. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with this
statement for a variety of reasons.
I partly agree that residing in the backcountry has some benefits. One of the main reasons can be that it is close to nature. Therefore
, life here is peaceful, the density of the population is low, and the people are friendly and supportive. This
means that residents can enjoy beautiful landscapes with fresh air, grow their own food and have a strong sense of community. For example
, whenever I feel stressed from work, I will seek relaxation in Lam Dong province, which has a cool climate and stunning natural scenery. Taking a break there can help me recharge and feel energized for the days ahead.
On the other hand
, I agree with the viewpoint that dwelling in metropolises has more advantages than in rural regions. Firstly
, it provides access to a wide range of job opportunities, educational institutions, healthcare systems and entertainment options. This
is because cities are often the hub of business activities, so many people are drawn to town to pursue career chances, educational environments for their children and access to various amenities as well as
services. For example
, according to
Vietnamworks
, the job opportunities in Ho Chi Minh City, a bustling metropolis of Vietnam, are hundreds of times higher than in Tay Ninh, a province near the Vietnam – Cambodia border.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
Vietnam works
although
it is believed that living in urban areas
offers more conveniences than inhabiting rural areas
, I’m convinced that both have their own unique benefits and it depends on the individual’s need to decide where is more suitable for each person.Submitted by yeshomeclass on
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Task Response
Your essay, while structured with an introduction, two main paragraphs, and a conclusion, presents a mix of ideas that somewhat deviate from the core topic posed by the prompt. This has led to a score of 6/9 in coherence and cohesion and 5/9 in task achievement due to the off-topic nature of the essay, which was supposed to address the prospects of government investment in the arts versus public services, not the comparison between urban and rural living.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, focus on clearly connecting your ideas and paragraphs with transition words and phrases that reflect the progression of your argument. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it support that main idea. In this essay, make sure that the provided examples align with the topic in question - government investment priorities.