IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays many people prefer to use private cars. What problems has this trend created? What solutions can you suggest?

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Personal automobiles are preferred by the majority of the masses, even, for long journeys. In
this
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, essay I would like to shed light on issues created because of
this
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 variation,
along with
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 the possible remedies to sort them out.
To begin
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 with, the craze of owning a car has become a common trend across the whole world,
however
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, it has disrupted the lives of individuals in many ways. The first and foremost problem is traffic jams, especially, in the urban areas since most people have to commute through cities on a daily basis.
Subsequently
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, the council is facing difficulties
to manage
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in managing
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 the growing number of automobiles, in fact, the public has to face struggles each day.
Besides
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, the contamination in the air,
due to
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 burning fossil fuels leads to a threat to the atmosphere.
For instance
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, in the
last
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 few decades, developing cities have
considerable
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a considerable
the considerable
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 number of patients suffering from respiratory diseases like asthma with the incline of air pollution because of traffic congestion.
Moreover
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, throughout the day regular blow of horns by automobiles has incredibly surged noise pollution as well. Turning towards the solutions, the high authorities, councils, and individuals ought to work collaboratively to solve various problems in the various nations.
Initially
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, the government need to invest in public transportation services, so that inhabitants
should
Verb problem
can
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pursue the utilisation of these provisions.
For example
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, in nations, where public buses, trains, subways or other transportation infrastructure are well developed and frequencies are really good, citizens travel through them, rather than, through personal vehicles.
Furthermore
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, the city councils ought to arrange campaigns to
aware
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be aware
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 of the consequences and encourage dwellers to commute by local transport.
Lastly
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, the masses should
also
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 use applications like carpools,
while
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 going on long journeys.
To conclude
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, underdeveloped or developing towns are facing the consequences associated with more vehicles
such
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 as congestion, degradation of the environmental quality and its impact on health.
Therefore
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, the bureaucracy needs to pay attention to it and motivate them to travel together.

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Task Response
The essay addresses the problems of the trend of using private cars and provides relevant solutions. However, the conclusion can be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points and offering a final perspective on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a reasonably clear overall progression, with a good use of linking words and cohesive devices. However, the introduction and conclusion could be better structured to introduce and summarize the main points more effectively.
Lexical Resource
The essay shows a good range of vocabulary and uses a variety of words and phrases. However, be mindful of using appropriate collocations and idiomatic expressions to enhance lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
There is a generally accurate use of a mix of simple and complex grammatical structures. However, pay attention to sentence structure and the use of parallel structures to enhance grammatical range.
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