IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
People have a myriad of views about whether the economic
aspects
 are the vital factor of a
nation
's
development
. Someone may think that the other factors of
development
 are crucial, but I believe that economic progression outweighs the other
aspects
. Of the reasons why other
aspects
' progression in one city’s
development
 is apparently crucial to its economic
development
, probably the most significant reason is the need for the all-rounded
development
 of a
nation
. A country that has profound impacts on other
countries
 usually needs outstanding developments in various
aspects
, ranging from military, economic, cultural, and agriculture. Being successful in those
aspects
, more corporations and exchanges with a variety of
countries
 can be established, which means it can enhance the
development
 of a
nation
.
For instance
, Korean Wave is the prime example to explain it. Putting lots of resources into their drama and entertainment industry, the Korean government significantly promotes their culture and a Korean wave is sweeping across the world.
Furthermore
, it provides a great economic return
due to
 the increase in travellers and purchasing from all over the world. With
this
 in mind, the governments allocate other resources in other
aspects
 that can bring profound advantages. Despite the advantages that can be provided in developing in other
aspects
, I personally believe that the economic
development
 of a
nation
 outweighs other
aspects
. The reason to explain
this
 is that a well-developing
nation
 mostly depends on how well its economic
development
. Wealth is the fundamental and detrimental factor to depict how well-constructed the city is. Imagine that if we are having an economic downturn, the unemployment and poverty rate will be higher, which means the
countries
 may lose their income, for ,example taxes. Meanwhile, those
countries
' economic burdens may be higher
due to
 the increasing application of subsidies.
Furthermore
, the government had to spare spending on culture, health, and social
development
.
Consequently
, it is crucial for the government to secure economic
development
 to enhance society functioning in a regular way. With
this
 in mind,
although
 other factors are vital to a city's
development
,
due to
 economic
development
 being supported by the society's operations, I personally believe that the
development
 of one
nation
's economy is more important than others.
Submitted by sharon021082 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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