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Band 7

The charts below show movie preferences in the country of Evonia for people aged from 20-35 years, 36-50 years and 51-65 years.

The charts below show movie preferences in the country of Evonia for people aged from 20-35 years, 36-50 years and 51-65 years.
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The pie charts depict the
favourite
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genres
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 of films in three distinct
age
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groups
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 in Evonia
While
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 younger audiences lean towards romance and cartoons, older
age
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groups
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 exhibit a preference for documentaries and dramas over the other
genres
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 Animations account for over a quarter (28%) of the 20-35
age
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group
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, which is roughly triple the percentage for the 51-65
age
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group
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 and 3% higher than the 36-50
age
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group
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. Romantic films are equally popular in all three
age
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groups
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, each accounting for around 20% of their
favourite
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genres
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. Action films represent a mere 7% of the
favourite
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genres
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 for the 51-65
age
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group
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,
while
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 they account for 20% and 24% in the 20-35 and 36-50
age
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groups
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, respectively. Documentaries make up a small minority, comprising 11% and 16% of the
favourite
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genres
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 for the 20-35 and 36-50
age
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groups
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, respectively.
However
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, they become the second most preferred genre for the 51-65
age
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group
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. Dramas are favoured by nearly one-third (32%) of those aged 51-65, which is more than double the percentage for the younger
group
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 (15%) and comprises 20% of the 36-50
age
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group
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's
favourite
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genres
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words favourite, genres, age, groups, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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