(PTV)Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
contemporary era, it is argued that for the development of children at their early stage it is crucial that the study of art subjects
like painting, and drawing should be included in their curriculum alike other subjects
in high schools
. In my opinion, I completely agree with this
statement because it helps the students to choose better career paths in future and helps in fostering creativity
.
Firstly
, why drawing and painting should be made mandatory in high schools
is
to provide them the exposure to various fields of study which can result in choosing a better path for their lives. The reason behind Unnecessary verb
apply
this
is, that when student's learning is confined to selective subjects
like maths,science and language they often fall into the category of engineering and medicine fields. Instead
, if they are introduced to various streams beforehand, it will be easier for them to choose the option to pursue their dream jobs and career perspectives in advance. For example
, research conducted in a famous newspaper showed that most of the students in European countries are showing their interest in fine arts due to
the awareness they got in their schools
regarding the job opportunities in the global level market. Hence
, it should be encouraged to include these subjects
in their academic schedules for the overall
betterment of young minds.
Secondly
, this
will open the window of creativity
among the students. When young minds are involved in learning attractive subjects
like these, it will not only benefit them in the prospect of their dream job but also
foster the level of creative advancements to shine in any field that they choose. This
is because, since it involves hand-eye coordination, focus and other fine motor skills which are required for their overall
development improves
cognitive ability. Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
For instance
, a recent article posted in The Hindu newspaper stated that children who participated in national drawing competitions showed their creativity
through colours which represented emotions and struggles the environment faces today with intricate nuances. Since, creativity
is already instilled in children, paving the path to learning more about this
would definitely help them to showcase in their future career journey.
In conclusion, I wholeheartedly agree that incorporating art syllabi in schools
provides various opportunities to explore their job perspectives rather than focusing on the prevalent jobs and also
it helps them incorporate the creativity
level in whichever field they choose to thrive.Submitted by chandralekha1993 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay would benefit from having stronger and clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph. This will make the main ideas easier to identify and follow.
task achievement
While the ideas are clear, some sentences are quite lengthy and could be broken down for better clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt with a balanced discussion of the importance of art classes, backed by examples and rationale.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, providing a good overview of the writer's stance and summarizing the points effectively.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.