Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

#people #sports

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There have been numerous instances of decreasing exercise among

teenagers

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, especially those who are inactive and losing their physical fitness.

This

Linking Words

decline is mainly

due to

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teenagers

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receiving heavy assignments from

school

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and getting caught up in excessive online entertainment and recreation. Several solutions should be implemented to address the decline in

sports

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participation among

teenagers

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. One major reason fewer young people participate in

sports

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is the heavy workload imposed by the education system. Many

students

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are burdened with excessive homework, leaving little time for physical activities.

For instance

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, in Korea, high

school

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students

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spend long hours in

school

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and

then

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must complete homework in the evening, limiting their ability to engage in outdoor

sports

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Additionally

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teenagers

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are often overly involved in online entertainment, which distracts them and leads to neglecting physical health.

This

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excessive focus on digital activities reduces their self-control and

further

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decreases

sports

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participation. To address reduced

sports

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participation among young people, two effective solutions can be implemented.

First,

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parents and schools should emphasize the importance of balancing academics with physical activity.

Instead

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of assigning excessive homework,

students

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should be encouraged to participate in

sports

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after

school

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For example

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, in Malaysia,

students

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are actively involved in extracurricular

sports

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like football and basketball, promoting a healthy lifestyle.

Second,

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students

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should work on breaking their addiction to online entertainment, which can drain their energy and time. By managing their screen time, they can regain the motivation and energy needed to stay physically active. In conclusion, creating a time-management plan and breaking addictive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

are effective in dealing with

this

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issue. If young people implement these solutions,

sports

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will become more common in their lives again.

Submitted by s_syedy on Mon Jul 24 2023

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task achievement

Although the main points are supported, providing more varied and detailed examples could strengthen your arguments further. Try to explore both direct and indirect ways of encouraging physical activity among young people.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to maintain a seamless flow. Using connectors like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'On the other hand' can make your essay more cohesive.

task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses both parts of the question, explaining the reasons for less sports participation and providing plausible solutions.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, effectively framing the essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

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Fewer young people play sports these days. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more young people to do sports?

Some people with good education and experience in their field decide to move abroad to work. Why do you think that is? What problems does this cause?

Student should pay the full cost for their study because university education benefit individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many countries now face an economic downturn so it is better for each country to focus on its own problems rather than helping other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that when deciding how taxes are spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your