IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, more money is spent on transport system in the cities. In contrast, very little is spent in rural areas. What are the effect of this and what can be done to solve this problem.

There is no denying the fact that the public
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 on the transport system in cities than in rural areas.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how to solve the issue and the effect of
this
Linking Words
 problem.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the effect of the public using more numbers on transportation in the city and not much is spent in rural areas.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the public transport in smaller areas will close if people do not start using it.
In other words
Linking Words
, if buses and trains are not used, it will be hard for companies to earn
money
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, less pollution and traffic in larger cities , but in small cities, there are not many crowds ,so it is easier to use cars.
For example
Linking Words
, a well-known study in Japan, asking crowds whether they would spend
money
Use synonyms
 on cars or buses , 80% answered cars if they lived in a rural area because it is less crowded. In terms of the solutions for
this
Linking Words
 problem, the government should make an educational TV show on how people from towns have to spend their
money
Use synonyms
 on the transport system. It is possible to say that they can save their income and have knowledge about transportation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we should care about the environment that will affect us in the long term. In conclusion, there are many effects in the long term ,but we discussed the most important ones. It is
also
Linking Words
 true that most
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 would watch the TV show and be aware of
this
Linking Words
 issue.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but aim to make the points in your body paragraphs clearer and more organized.
task achievement
Try to add more specific examples or details to support your ideas in each paragraph. This will make your arguments stronger.
language accuracy
Make sure to check your grammar and punctuation. Some mistakes can confuse the reader.
task achievement
You correctly identified the main issue of transportation spending in cities versus rural areas. This shows you understood the prompt well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: