Task 2: Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

In today's era,

children

tend to become more attracted towards

smartphones

Due to

this

, they spend most of their

time

on these devices. I strongly believe it has negative developments on the minds of the

children

, it could lead to more grumpy behaviour and it will

also

detach them from the real world as well.

Smartphones

were invented to be feasible for humankind, but most parents tend to forget that smartphone contains highly saturated information which only an adult can comprehend and control.

Moreover

, before the invention of these phones

children

back

then

used to entertain themselves by watching TV programs or playing video games and even playing real outdoor games as well, but as

time

has evolved

children

now indulge more in

smartphones

where they talk and chat

Change preposition

with

show examples

their online friends and play online games most of the

time

This

has created a problem of detachment from making friends in real-life and getting attached to virtual life where they can easily get manipulated by anyone which could be dicey for them.

In addition

, spending hours on

smartphones

have led to unknown health issues in young life it could be eyesight issue or

due to

lack of activity, they are getting obese. It

also

creates an issue of behaviour among young kids where they get angry with their parents when they don't get them their desired things because they want to show off in front of their virtual friends.

For instance

Most

Fix capitalization

most

show examples

children

flaunt their dresses or even

smartphones

when their parents buy them and no matter how much expensive it would be they easily get disappointed

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when someone purchases something even more expensive.

This

has led to a materialistic mindset among

children

and forget to appreciate the things

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they have.

To conclude

Smartphones

are addictive towards

children

and they spend most of their

time

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

, it will surely lead to unknown problems if they are not rectified. It will always outweigh the negative development more than the positive in the

children

Submitted by Melroy on Tue Jul 25 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Task 2: Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible solutions?

In some countries, a high proportion of criminal acts are committed by teenagers. Why has this happened? What can be done to deal with this

The government should tax unhealthy food to encourage people to eat more healthily. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays children spend lots of time watching television and playing conputers games. However, it does not help in improving children's mental abilities do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that punishment is the best way of teaching children to behave well. Others believe that it is better to reward children for good be haviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.