IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The top piority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#piority #businesses #money #responsibilities
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Making
money
Use synonyms
 is the first
piority
Correct your spelling
priority
 of
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 is making
money
Use synonyms
, and they do not have to have public responsibilities.
This
Linking Words
 writer totally
disagree
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disagrees
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 statement and will explain why in the following essay. On the one hand, people who work for a
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 normal people like everyone in the social, so they have to have social
resposibilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
.
For example
Linking Words
, a man
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
show examples
 in a
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
, he has to obey every
rules
Change to a singular noun
rule
show examples
 in
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
, there is no exception.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
bussinessman
Correct your spelling
businessman
businessmen
 have to obey financial law to not get into trouble to make the social better, the
Use synonyms
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 have to
equity
Add a missing verb
have equity
show examples
 to make the social better.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
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bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 make
money
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 not only for
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
, some part of
these
Change the determiner
this money
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent to help the social better.
For example
Linking Words
, a lot of presidents from many big
Use synonyms
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 quote a part of their profit to donate
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 charity organisers to help children all around the world.
Use synonyms
Bussinesses
Correct your spelling
Businesses
 have to have public
responsibilites
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
, they have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 what they do.
For example
Linking Words
,
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
, some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the bussinesses
show examples
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 are
greed
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greedy
show examples
, they
ready
Add a missing verb
are ready
show examples
 to do illegal to have
money
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, so they have to face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rules and
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
bussinesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
save
Wrong verb form
saving
show examples
 their
money
Use synonyms
 for their plan
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the future is not negative but if they give them to
social
Replace the word
society
show examples
, they will have an enormous profit.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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