IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

the top priority of business is making money , and they do not need to have social responsibilities.To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#priority #business #money #responsibilities
it is often said that the highest priority of
business
 is making
money
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social responsibility is not necessary for them. The writer does not agree with the reason and explain it flowing the statement On the
one
 hand, making
money
 is
one
 of the important goals of
business
 beside that they have responsibilities
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
also
 the priority
such
 as income tax, doing charity, the percentage of jobless and more activity. Doing social responsibilities is very important because it is
one
 of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 that increases the income for
business
. In contrast, some people who do not agree maybe can use their responsibilities as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 reason to make
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 pay
money
 for charity but that
money
 do not spend on really poor people. It can prevent the company from working which affects income. All in all the benefit of social responsibility is
one
 of the most important things that the company need pay attention to because it can improve the fame and fortune of that company.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Corporate social responsibility (CSR)
  • Profitability
  • Ethical practices
  • Economic growth
  • Brand image
  • Consumer backlash
  • Long-term success
  • Sustainability
  • Ethical labor practices
  • Community involvement
  • Legal requirements
  • Compliance policies
  • Innovation
  • Stakeholders
  • Social welfare
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!