Most countries want to improve standard of living through industrial development but social values are lost as a result. Do you believe that advantages of economic development outweigh the drawbacks?

In modern human society, the majority of citizens share the same thought that possessing a

house

apartment

is an essential part of our daily lives. From my perspective, it brings more benefits to most

people

which will be discussed in the following essay.

Firstly

, owing an accommodation yields numerous advantages. You will be free from financial issues regarding paying rent monthly which causes a headache with our salary. You will feel comfortable purchasing everything you like without being worried.

For instance

, you will be able to invest more in some new clothes or save up for unexpected matters with the money you saved from paying rent. Second of all, with the

house

apartment

which you legally own, you will be able to feel free to design it in order to fit your living style or your personality.

As a result

, your accommodation will guarantee an enjoyable and pleasant living experience.

Moreover

, purchasing furniture and being able to paint your preferred colours on the walls will

also

be viable as long as you are the rightful owner of that property.

According to

a recent survey conducted by the Vietnamese Government, the vast majority of

people

consider that living in their own houses or apartments contributes to a better, more significant result in their both productivity and efficiency.

However

, having ownership of a

house

apartment

has its own adversaries. In order to possess an accommodation. You not only have to loan a huge amount of money from the bank but

also

live in worry and thrift.

Therefore

, some

people

come up with the decision of paying rent monthly or annually In conclusion, owning a

house

apartment

is a crucial milestone in our lives. It has plenty of advantages for

people

. You can

also

buy everything you prefer with the money you saved.

Last

but not least you will able to design or decorate to make it more gorgeous.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Tue Jul 25 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

320 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most countries want to improve standard of living through industrial development but social values are lost as a result. Do you believe that advantages of economic development outweigh the drawbacks?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The best way to improve children’s life is fathers and mothers attending course for parenting and child development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be?Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to a university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree?