Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some said that
children
will gain more benefits when embarking on their study journey at a very young age.Others believe that schooling is better for them when they are more mature.
This
essay will discuss both views and elucidate my opinions towards
this
issue. On the one hand, early education makes a child
easier
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to get access to knowledge through their instincts in comparison with an older one, who might be influenced by the cognitive activities of the brain.Absorbing the information in natural ways is better than a reluctantly compulsory mission that leads to laziness and
lie
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lies
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. A kid,
for example
,
when
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studies a language, is likely to imitate the first sound he hears, which results in his language proficiency. Contrary to the case of the more mature one, he is not able to mimic or copy anything since he was distracted by many preconscious data that he had been given before.Teaching
children
at a very young age ,
therefore
, has a variety of advantages in the development of language ability.
On the other hand
, there are several drawbacks that we need to take into consideration.The first period in
children
's lives requires a carefree and naive moment. It is undue when they are forced to go to school at
this
time bearing tons of pressure from acquiring a massive number of lessons and assignments.
Consequently
,
soon
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studying hinders
children
from growing up with natural processes. In conclusion, despite the negative effects of immersing in the educational environment for
children
at an early age, I firmly agree that it will be more beneficial than getting them to school when they get older.
Submitted by nguyenhoanghadl on

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Task Response
Task Achievement: The essay demonstrates a partial response to the task. It covers the main points of both views but lacks depth and clarity. More specific examples and a balanced discussion of both perspectives are needed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The logical structure is somewhat developed, and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, the essay lacks sufficient support for the main points, making the progression of ideas unclear at times.
Lexical Resource
Lexical Resource: The essay shows a range of vocabulary, but there are inaccuracies and some awkward word choices. Use more precise and appropriate vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Grammatical Range: The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are errors in sentence formation and verb tense consistency. Work on improving sentence structure and grammar accuracy for a wider range.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
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