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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990.

The charts below show the levels of participation in education and science in developing and industrialised countries in 1980 and 1990.
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The three bar charts show the average
years
Use synonyms
 of schooling, the number of scientists and technicians, and research and development spending in developing and developed economies. Figures are given for 1980 and 1990. It is clear from the charts that the figures for developed economies are much higher than those for developing nations.
Also
Linking Words
, the charts show an
overall
Linking Words
 increase in participation in education and science from 1980 to 1990. People in developing nations attended school for an average of around 3
years
Use synonyms
, with only a slight increase in
years
Use synonyms
 of schooling from 1980 to 1990.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the figure for industrialised countries rose from nearly 9
years
Use synonyms
 of schooling in 1980 to nearly 11
years
Use synonyms
 in 1990. From 1980 to 1990, the number of scientists and technicians in industrialised countries almost doubled to about 70 per 1000 people. Spending on research and development
also
Linking Words
 saw rapid growth in these nations, reaching $350 billion in 1990.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the number of science workers in developing countries remained below 20 per 1000 people, and research spending fell from about $50 billion to only $25 billion.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrollment rates
  • primary education
  • secondary education
  • tertiary education
  • literacy rates
  • scientific research
  • research and development (R&D)
  • correlation
  • gender disparities
  • participation
  • developing countries
  • industrialized countries
  • investment
  • comparison
  • impact
  • specified years
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