It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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In the past governments had the

responsibility

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of funding on retires people, but nowadays it becomes individual

responsibility

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. The

government

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have no obligation to handle

this

Linking Words

paramount aspect

due to

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economic resistance

government

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focuses on other sectors

such

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as the eradication of society's poverty in

this

Linking Words

country . I strongly agree with

this

Linking Words

point of view.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain

this

Linking Words

issue and provide supporting opinions with an example First, Removing the

government

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's role in funding

retirement

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to become an individual obligation is the one exact choice to decrease national expenditure.

Government

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can use the money for building another sector which is an essential part of human life

such

Linking Words

as the economy and health sectors.

For example

Linking Words

, take the expenditure that the

government

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planning to fund

retirement

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in Indonesia in 2024 changed the expenditure to support the people having low-level income, it will give more benefits in terms of developing the economic sector.

Secondly

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, people can make plans for their finances as a

responsibility

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for their own

retirement

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. Take one civil servant working in a

government

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office

such

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as a hospital as an example. He can save the money from the income getting during work from the first time he became a civil servant until he will be

retirement

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. It will help their

retirement

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Furthermore

Linking Words

, they can use the saving for developing their business. In conclusion, present-day the obligation for spending

retirement

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becomes individual

responsibility

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. I personally agree with

this

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point of view because the

government

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have more

responsibility

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to overcome the poverty in

this

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country.

ieltscuns2022Wed Jul 26 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement savings
financial planning
economic circumstances
government provision
basic state pension
financial independence
income disparities
aging populations
social safety net
tax burden
financial education
quality of life
personal financial responsibility
social inequality

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In spite of the advance made in agriculture,many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?