It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#responsibility #individuals #retirement #governments #obligation #benefit

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In the past governments had the

responsibility

of funding on retires people, but nowadays it becomes individual

responsibility

. The

government

have no obligation to handle

this

paramount aspect

due to

economic resistance

government

focuses on other sectors

such

as the eradication of society's poverty in

this

country . I strongly agree with

this

point of view.

This

essay will explain

this

issue and provide supporting opinions with an example First, Removing the

government

's role in funding

retirement

to become an individual obligation is the one exact choice to decrease national expenditure.

Government

can use the money for building another sector which is an essential part of human life

such

as the economy and health sectors.

For example

, take the expenditure that the

government

planning to fund

retirement

in Indonesia in 2024 changed the expenditure to support the people having low-level income, it will give more benefits in terms of developing the economic sector.

Secondly

, people can make plans for their finances as a

responsibility

for their own

retirement

. Take one civil servant working in a

government

office

such

as a hospital as an example. He can save the money from the income getting during work from the first time he became a civil servant until he will be

retirement

. It will help their

retirement

Furthermore

, they can use the saving for developing their business. In conclusion, present-day the obligation for spending

retirement

becomes individual

responsibility

. I personally agree with

this

point of view because the

government

have more

responsibility

to overcome the poverty in

this

country.

Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on Wed Jul 26 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement savings
financial planning
economic circumstances
government provision
basic state pension
financial independence
income disparities
aging populations
social safety net
tax burden
financial education
quality of life
personal financial responsibility
social inequality

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Developing countries require help offered by international organizations to ensure healthy and sustainable development. Some people think that financial aid is important. Others believe that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many students are participating in international exchange trips. Is this a positive or a negative development?

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Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernising. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?