IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that it is the responsiblity of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others, however, believe that gorvernments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views, and give your opinion.

#people #responsiblity #individuals #care #health #diet #gorvernments #citizens
It is often argued by a group of
people
 that
individuals
 are responsible for caring for their
health
 and having a balanced
diet
,
although
 there are
also
 other
people
 who think that
governments
 should monitor the
diet
 of
society
. From my point of view, I agree with
this
 idea. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides in detail and will state my stance. On the
one
 hand, there are a group of
people
 who opine that
individuals
 are responsible for their
health
 and having a balanced
diet
.
In other words
, every person is the only
one
 that knows about himself and nobody can find out what is the best
diet
 for another person.
For instance
, no
one
 knows about someone's
favourite
 foods, fruits, and being vegetarian or not. Not only are not other
people
 aware of someone's
favourite
diet
 but
also
 they don't know about the
favourite
lifestyle
 of others because some
people
 are into sports and
as a result
, they must have a different
diet
 related to other
individuals
.
As a result
, we are the only ones that can take care of our
health
 since no
one
 knows about our
lifestyle
,
favourite
 food and stuff like that.
On the other hand
, some
people
 are of the opinion that
governments
 are responsible for the
health
 and
diet
 of
society
. To express differently, since most
individuals
 pay taxes to governors and
governments
,
therefore
 they are responsible for
people
 in
society
 and must monitor their
health
.
For instance
,
governments
 should execute some special programs like annual blood tests, cancer
test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
show examples
 and some
diet
 programs for
people
 in order to make sure about their healthy
lifestyle
.
Moreover
,
governments
 should provide some useful TV programs to increase the knowledge of
people
.
Consequently
, it is the duty of
governments
 to take care of the
health
 and
diet
 of
people
 in
society
.
To conclude
,
although
governments
 control
society
, I personally believe that it is the duty of
people
 to take care of themselves as well as their
health
 and
diet
 by choosing a healthy
lifestyle
 since
people
 have complete information about their
lifestyle
 and
favourite
diet
therefore
, they can make the best decisions and choices about their
health
 and
diet
.
Submitted by yavari1993 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: