Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

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Nowadays, the increase in wrongdoing standards has engendered concerns

due to

Linking Words

its long-term impacts on society.

Although

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the outlook of entirely combating

crime

Use synonyms

appears bleak, identifying the reasons behind

this

Linking Words

tendency is key to suggesting ultimate approaches. There are several reasons underlying the existence of

this

Linking Words

trend.

First,

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very few suitable amendments have been made to adjust the government’s management in terms of laws. Since a whole host of issues

such

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as poverty and political corruption run rampant

Change preposition

due to

show examples

the government’s neglect, it is compelling to breach the restrictions.

Second,

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no consequence of law infringement is deliberately emphasized in advance

due to

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the lack of the law’s fundamental knowledge provided in formal schooling. By establishing an educational system that only concentrates on core subjects, law education is diminished regardless of its paramount importance.

However

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, there are plenty of solutions to reduce

crime

Use synonyms

. If the government facilitates social reform by appropriate methods, gradual changes will keep the

crime

Use synonyms

rate at bay.

For instance

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, as there is no loophole in laws,

hardly

Rephrase

apply

show examples

can societal security be violated, leading to a decrease in the

crime

Use synonyms

rate in the long run.

Furthermore

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, imposing stricter penalties would act as not only a deterrent against the motive of committing a

crime

Use synonyms

in potential criminals but

also

Linking Words

a drastic warning for juvenile delinquents. In the case of Singapore, the reinstatement of corporal punishment presumably contributes to the decline of the domestic misconduct quota. In conclusion, the fact that our flawed government

as well as

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education policies can explain the pattern. Taking steps to implement those appreciative methods will result in better scenarios.

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are weak and should be strengthened to provide a clearer structure for the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task, but the specific examples provided could be more relevant and detailed to support the arguments effectively.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

In some countries, students studying in university live with their family, whereas in other countries, students choose to study in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from homes while studying outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many young people are drawn towards dangerous sports. What makes them so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimize the risks?

Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？