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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or a nagative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #nagative #development
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In
Change preposition
This
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Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 days it's widely noticed that
due to
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unstoppable
Correct article usage
the unstoppable
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, massive abandoning of rural territories, the number of countryside people is declining. And dramatically, as
any
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with any
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 phenomenon, it
also
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 has its advantages and disadvantages. In my point of view, it can mostly lead to negative consequences. So, in the upcoming paragraphs, there will be shed
a
Correct article usage
apply
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light on the dark side of
such
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 sort of migration. The first thing, which, undoubtfully, should be mentioned is that leaving rural territories potentially can cause
degradation
Correct article usage
the degradation
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 of villages.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
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 it can become a "root" reason for
shortening
Replace the word
shortage
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in workplaces,
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
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 rate climbing and
for
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apply
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infrastructure
destroying
Replace the word
destruction
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.
In other words
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, it all can affect economic, social and demographic spheres - which, in turn, can only make countries' positions more complicated. The second significant evidence of negative outcomes can be not quite obvious: the plummet in
level
Add an article
the level
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 of living and possible recession in the countryside economy
have
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has
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 an influence on local agriculture.
For instance
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, as a graduate student, who has written a diploma in agriculture and food supply problems, it's definitely
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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 point, because with decreasing
in efficiency
Correct your spelling
inefficiency
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 in
this
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 sector, the absence of technology development and a sharp need for a high-qualified workforce, it's going to become a catastrophe for some nations - it can affect their independence and make their position on the world arena shaky.
To conclude
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, it
ought
Add the word
toought
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 be said that
such
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 moving can have much deeper reasons and because of its tangible consequences, which are degradation in agriculture, suffering food chains and growing "drawbacks" in economic and social spheres, any negative effects may outweigh any positive.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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